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LOOKINGT AT 80 IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR: A Perspective on Decluttering

2/12/2021

1 Comment

 
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​Some years ago, a friend of mine paid $6,000 to a professional for help decluttering her home. Although she needed to dispose of a lot of stuff, I thought that rather costly. Ten years later, I’m beginning to change my mind. It can be an overwhelming task to take on by yourself.

Have you ever looked around you and realized that every surface in your office is covered with something? How did this happen? Then you look around and see that your office isn’t the only room? Time to declutter. Clutter causes too much stress.

Everyone knows decluttering is not a simple task. But there are a few “need-to-knows” before you begin.


DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HOARDING, CLUTTERING, AND COLLECTING

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Hoarding is a medical condition which leads the individual to save trash as if it were treasure. Hoarding owns the hoarder and doesn’t allow the owner to get rid of any object, no matter how useless, like ten thousand packets of ketchup. The disorder can become so severe that it interferes with a normal lifestyle, like sleeping in a bed or taking a shower.

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Cluttering may be a marker of a hoarding disorder, but it may simply be the result of not cleaning up after one’s self. It is not that the clutterer can’t clean up or throw things away when necessary, and the circumstances do not require any kind of “intervention.”

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Collecting is an organized display of items appreciated by the collector and may serve as a recreational hobby. Collections can become cases of cluttering or hoarding.

his blog only addresses cluttering, and that primarily in relation to seniors.

WHY ARE YOU DECLUTTERING?
This seems like a useless question, but it isn’t. Knowing the reason you are doing something becomes an integral part of the decision making process. Some of the motivations for declutterling may include:
  • Moving to a different house. Larger or smaller? Nearby or far away?
  • Retirement (often goes with downsizing).
  • Making room for an additional household member e.g. Grandmother or new baby.
  • Removing personal items after the death of a spouse or a child who has married.
  • Moving in with a roommate or vice versa.
  • Need more space for new projects.
  • Feel embarrassed to invite friends over.
  • Can’t find anything or just can’t stand looking at the mess anymore; too distracting.

Whatever the reason, focus on it consciously and use it as one of the guides for decision making.


WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE YOU START?
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In addition to the “why?” there are some basic guidelines for the decluttering process which can be found in many articles and books. All of them are helpful, but always work with your own preferences, habits and tendencies, rather than against them. As with anything in life, the less you have to force things to work, the easier the process will be! Think about these things before you begin.

  ● First, the ubiquitous reminder that decluttering is neither quick nor easy, and it is not going to be a one-time effort. It will be an ongoing process.

  ● Second, know why you are doing this.

  ● Third, do some thinking and planning in advance. The most prominent reason for clutter is lack of space, and/or lack of organization.
    Think the process through from the beginning. Why do you have so much clutter? Do you have places for everything? Are they located conveniently in relation to their use? Could they be placed in your home more efficiently? Are there physical organizational helps you can use
?
    Think about how you will move those big bags of trash out of the house and to the trash bin. Will you need help? Do you know how and where to donate certain things to selected charities? Can you lift heavy boxes you want to store in the garage? Is there furniture you need to get rid of?

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Spend some time getting the phone numbers of places you want to donate items, and find out if they pick up or you have to deliver the items.

● Fourth, do you need someone else to help you? Do you need professional help? How do you find someone?

Process - The Multibox System
My friend’s professional declutterer brought three big bins and labeled them, Trash, Don’t Know, and Keep. Everything went into one of them.

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Already I disagree. First, I don’t believe in leaving more decisions for later and prolonging the angst. Second, there are more than three categories of items. Consider these instead:

● Trash – no good to anybody and should go to the land fill.

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● Shred – you don’t want to keep these papers [old tax files, maybe] but you don’t want personal information floating about at the dump.

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● Give Away – items that still have good life left in them but you don’t need or have no room for them. Give to friends or relatives, or give to Good Will, Am Vets, and other such charities.
The pitfall with friends and relatives is contacting so and so to see if they want the item, and having to store it until they come for it. A week? Maybe that’s okay. You may still be involved in the decluttering. When I can get around to it? Uh-uh! All you'll be doing is moveing the clutters to another space.

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● Sell – There are many things, particularly clothes, that can be sold to someone who will be glad to have them. It’s an option, but is it a good one for you? Do you want to price those items, place the ads [no big deal these days], package them and run them to the Post Office or UPS?

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● Put In Storage – There are things you will want to keep that you only use periodically, like Christmas or other seasonal decorations. That’s what garages are for [besides cars]: Storage. Be sure to mark the basic content on two sides of each storage box so no matter which way it fits onto a shelf, the content can be seen. This is necessary even with plastic see-thorough boxes. Also, it doesn’t hurt to keep an inventory list of what is in the box.

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● Put Away – Put away the Objects to keep in the room you are cleaning up but also in other rooms.

You may not find items in all these categories in each room, and you will figure out which categories fit each room.

Where To Start
Before you dive in, think about your decluttering goal. Do you want to get rid of visible mess, or do you want to create entirely new household organizational systems to use going forward? Knowing what your end goal [your “Why?”] will help you prioritize tasks.

One approach is starting with the room that is easiest. For example, if you know you need to do an overhaul of your entire wardrobe, don’t tackle your bedroom at the same time. Don’t be over ambitious and take on more than you can do. The theory is that starting small and succeeding empowers you to take on the bigger tasks. For me, starting with small tasks in the worst room [like cleaning off two bookcases in an office] works better. By the time I finish that room, the rest are easier.

GUIDELINES
By now you have considered why you are decluttering, and have decided where to start. You have planned to set aside the time, made arrangements for help, extra trash bins, tools, etc. and contacted people to take things away. Now you’re ready for guidelines!

  ● Set a realistic goal for your daily project.
If you can do it all in one day, you are merely cleaning a messy room thoroughly. Only take on as much as you can do. “Today I am going to clean out two book cases in my office and move one of them into the extra bedroom.”

  ● Reject the “I-might-need-it-someday” temptation
It’s true. You might, but probably not. And the item has no doubt been through the “maybe someday” test more than once. Don’t talk yourself into keeping something you don’t use and haven’t needed to some time.
A friend of mine and her husband have a small apartment. Every year they go through their closet and anything they haven’t worn for a year goes out [excluding tuxedos and ball gowns]. No matter how new it is, what they paid for it, how much they “love” it, etc. If you haven’t worn it in a year, you don’t need it. These are things you may feel better about away if you can find them a good home.

  ● Don’t let your mind guilt you into keeping things.
Many of us keep things we don’t use or even like “because Grandma gave it to me.” Or you spent way too much money and feel guilty every time you see it and don’t use it.
Melissa, writing for simplelionheartlife.com/ writes “It’s important to find ways to work through the guilt so you can focus on only keeping the things that add value to your life.”
Whether or not the item adds value to your life is the key. You may want to keep your Grandma’s gift, not because you like it but because it brings comforting feelings about your grandmother and makes you feel better. Don’t part with those things.

Ditch the item you paid too much for and never use. That can only bring stress to your life every time you see it.
​

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● Follow through and finish the job
Just deciding what to keep and what to throw out doesn’t count if you don’t finish. You have to clear the bookshelf, and pack the give-away books into a box for the “friends of the library” store. Then you have to see that the box gets there. Now that you’ve cleaned off the bookshelf, don’t leave it in your office to collect more junk. Be sure it gets moved into the extra bedroom.

● Don’t Try to reorganize or clean until you are through decluttering
Even though you should think about reorganization of your worldly goods before you start the process, once you are into it, stay focused on what you are keeping, not what you are getting rid of. And don’t try to organize things, clean, or put things away until the decluttering process is complete. Don’t buy an organization system before you complete the process.
All these things become distractions from the business at hand.

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● Don’t take a Trip down Memory Lane
In my opinion, this is one of the most common distractions from finishing the process. You start looking at pictures or reading something from college and pretty soon you are completely off track and the time is gone. Decide whether or not you are going to keep these, put them in the “Keep” box and get on with it.
​
Another similar trap occurs when decluttering an office and trying to assess with professional information and papers are still timely and worth keeping. You can get into readying every document. I’m a writer and have problems with notes from meetings about writing, procedures for contacting editors, yada, yada, yada. Tons of paper. Then it occurred to me that the publishing business has totally changed in the last twenty years, and none of the material was pertinent any more. I pitched the whole file cabinet.

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● Be Ruthless
Bite the bullet and make the hard decisions. You want to avoid that “I don’t know” box as much as possible. The more times you consider whether or not you want to toss something, the more unsure you’ll become. All those little interferences mentioned above come to haunt you again.

A SENIOR’S PERSPECTIVE ON DECLUTTERING
The reason people are clutterers depends on many factors, and getting old may be one of them. Elder adults have additional challenges to overcome. They've been around long enough to have collected a lot of possessions. The number and kind has, no doubt, been trimmed several, if not many, times over the years, but much of what a senior retains has made the cut more than once.

Despite previous decluttering efforts, elderly adults eventually slow down and it seems to take twice as much time and energy as it used to for any simple task. The day doesn’t go as far, and it’s easy to get behind. It’s not a big deal if the house or certain rooms become a bit cluttered. It’s harder to keep up.

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​● Often when seniors declutter, it is because he or she is moving to the home of a relative who will look after them or moving to retirement or senior housing. They may be going from a house they have occupied for years to a room or two. Downsizing can be a big challenge.

At this point, the elderly person is usually looking for a permanent home for possessions they have been saving to leave to members of the family when they die. If having enough space is an issue, it’s preferable, but not always possible, that Aunt Clara’s Limoges Dinnerware be taken away by the heir, not stored in the senior’s closet or garage.


● Even if the elder adult is are not moving to another location, the individual may still have many possessions that are no longer used or needed cluttering the living space. If the home is cluttered, loose carpets and things underfoot may cause real dangers such as increased fall risk, preventing emergency workers from helping the senior, and unsanitary living conditions. Cluttering can easily morph into hoarding, and it might also be a sign of serious conditions related to Dementia.
​

Too much stuff attracts dust mites that aggravate asthma and allergies. If the senior accumulates combustibles or stacks of boxes in front of doors, the person may be subject to fines from the fire authorities.

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● An important challenge for seniors is remembering where they put things. It’s normal in your elder years to become more forgetful. As people approach old age, certain parts of the brain shrinks, communications between nerve cells may not be as effective, and blood flow to the brain may decrease. Besides, a lifetime of accumulated knowledge and experience requires shuffling through more mental files to find things.
​
Seniors need a specific and unchanging storage spot for everything, particularly medicine and important items. Those locations need to be logical and convenient to the life style.
Once one establishes the habit of putting objects in the same place, if the location is convenient the person has enough triggers to remind them where it is. However, the place for medicine you need to take with lunch should not upstairs in the bathroom, but near where you eat lunch.

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● Elderly adults also acquire physical equipment such as wheel chairs, walkers, devices to help standing up, devices to help reach things from high places, etc. All of these take up space and have to be kept in locations where they can be accessible. A wheel chair does no good in the garage.

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​​● Lifting and reaching shelves which are too high and/or too low may be problems. Dishes may have to go on lower shelves, storage or infrequently used items on top shelves. However, climbing on ladders usually isn’t a good idea for seniors either. These challenges mean there is less useable space on lower shelves and perhaps under counters.

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● Walking and carrying things at the same time may be a problem. That's why location of needed objects makes such a difference.

​
● Seniors have a tendency to over-buy. One reason is economic. Another might be the person is dependent on others to get to the grocery store and doesn’t want to run out.

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​Those on fixed and low incomes are always looking for a bargain, and if you can get three for the price of one, why not? You’re saving money, right?
​  
For toilet paper, yes. But three half-gallons of pepper, maybe not. Even if you use a lot of pepper, by the time you’ve used a half-gallon and need more, you won’t remember where the others are. When you can’t find it – because it is stored in some unusual or hard to reach place -- you buy it again.

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● No one wants their parents’ or grandparents’ stuff.

​TAKE AWAY

In dealing with anyone, the issue of neatness and housekeeping is touchy; with seniors, even more so. It’s great when someone realizes their problem and seeks help. However, If the individual is unaware of the mess or doesn’t care, whomever is helping or trying to intervene needs to be very careful how the situation is handled. There are resources available to assist:
Recources:

There are a number of companies in every state who provide decluttering services.
Also check
•https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/?cmp=KNC-BRD-MC-REALPOSS-TODAY-GOOGLE-SEARCH-CAREGIVING&
• https://hoarding.iocdf.org/
• https://www.napo.net/
• https://savvysenior.org/

Just Sayin'
 
Sources:
https://seniorsafetyadvice.com/decluttering-tips-for-seniors/  **very good article

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/how-aging-brain-affects-thinking#:~:text=Blood%20flow%20in%20the%20brain%20may%20decrease.%20Inflammation%2C,younger%20individuals%20on%20complex%20memory%20or%20learning%20tests


https://simplelifeofalady.com/declutter-quotes/#:~:text=Declutter%20Quotes%20that%20will%20Inspire%20You%20to%20Declutter.,that%20you%20need%20to%20buy%20it)%20More%20itemsServices
​​.
https://www.servicemastersanfrancisco.com/difference-cluttering-collecting-hoarding/#:~:text=A%20person%20with%20hoarding%20issues,on%20the%20everyday%20household%20functioning

https://www.lean-news.com/decluttering-your-workspace-with-5s/
https://www.paulsrubbish.com.au/difference-between-clutter-hoarding/
https://individuals.healthreformquotes.com/aca/essential-benefits/mental/resources/organizing-hoarding-cluttering/
https://www.clutterhoardingcleanup.com/resources/hoarding/difference-between-hoarding-and-clutter
https://medium.com/swlh/the-difference-between-clutter-and-hoarding-d1da8ae7e349
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mess/201509/clutter-vs-hoarding-vs-collecting
https://www.clearwaterliving.com/news-blog/declutter-and-downsize-4-tips-for-older-adults
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/help-for-seniors-who-are-drowning-in-clutter_b_4094093
http://domesticmommyhood.com/10-free-resources-help-clear-clutter-organized-home/

1 Comment
Mark link
4/18/2021 05:41:27 am

Nice Blog!!

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    Author R. Ann Siracusa

    Novelist, retired architect and urban planner, world traveler, quilter, owl collector, devoted wife-mother-grandmother, great-grandmother, and, according to some, wild-assed liberal.

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