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IO SATURNALIA: THE FESTIVAL OF MISRULE.                              What the Romans Contributed to Christmas

12/24/2021

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Similar to many facets of life in today’s western civilization, the Romans had a profound influence on the way Christians celebrate Christmas. We just can’t get away from those guys.
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​ROMAN INFLUENCE OVER THE WORLD
Saturnalia began as a one-day farming ritual related at the end of harvest and the winter solstice. On that day, the agrarian population under Rome’s rule honored Saturn, the Roman god of agriculture by offering gifts and sacrifices to him. The time of origin of the festival, Saturnalia, is unknown, but it predates the birth of Christ.

The tradition of honoring Saturn in relation to the harvest and the winter solstice (around December 21 by our calendar today) followed the Romans throughout conquest of their empire. The map below indicates the breadth of Roman influence on the rest of the world.

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Expanse of the Roman Empire by 117 AD – over 19 million sq. miles
Image Source: allthatsinteresting.comt-roman-empire
​THE BIRTH OF SATURNALIA
The celebration may have taken on the name Saturnalia when the Temple of Saturn was dedicated in Rome in around 498 BC. The anniversary of the dedication was commemorated on December 17, and is believed to be the source of many of the current Christmas traditions.
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                Temple of Saturn                                                               Temple of Saturn – 3D Reconstruction of Forum
Source of Images: colosseumrometickets.com/temple-saturn/   
Whenever the festival began, by 133-31 B.C. this public holiday ‒ a time for feasting, goodwill, and generosity to the poor and for drinking, dancing, nudity, and general bacchanal ‒ had become the most popular holiday on the Roman (Julian) calendar. The gala had been expanded into a week-long event beginning December 17 and ending on December 23. The date of winter solstice on the Julian calendar was December 25.

Augustus Caesar, who ruled from 27 BC – 14 AD, reduced the festivities to three days because it interfered with the working days. Later, Emperor Caligula (37 to 41AD) extended it to five days. By the early fifth century the gala was two weeks long.
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​​Image Source: jeremyvarner.com/blog/saturnalia/
According to Macrobius, a well-known Roman author (370-430 AD), Saturnalia represented the merging of three winter festivals over several centuries.
​

   ● The Day of Saturn (Saturnalia) originally December 17;
   ● Festival of Opalia, goddess of abundance and fruits of the earth (who was also Saturn's
      wife and sister); and
   ● A feast day celebrating the shortest day, called Brumalia by the Romans, which
     coincided with the solstice.
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THE MOST POPULAR HOLIDAY
There were plenty of reasons why the holiday was so popular with the Romans.

Image Source: dreamstime.com/stock-photo-chiuso-closed

​● Nobody worked for the entire week of Saturnalia. Courts, shops, schools, public offices were all closed and no one did business during the holiday.

● Most of the Roman’s strict rules went out the window and it was a time of role reversal in terms of the aristocracy and the common Romans, servants, and slaves. The festival reflects the contradictory nature of the deity Saturn himself; joyful and carefree, but also threatening and dangerous.

● Slaves, servants, and commoners were allowed to participate, which was not the case on other Roman holidays. They received gifts from their masters and were seated at a great feast served by the masters themselves. The UKs Boxing Day is said to have derived from this tradition.

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● People would also wear a cap of freedom – the pilleum – which was usually worn by slaves who had been awarded their freedom, to symbolize that they were ‘free’ during the Saturnalia.
                                            Image Source:  somathread.ning.com/saturnalian-pileus ►

●It was the Romans’ mid-winter holiday of feasting, drinking, singing in the street naked, dancing, clapping hands, making noise, and debauchery. An orgy, so to speak.

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● Activities forbidden to the plebeians were permitted such as gambling in public, bobbing for corks in ice water, trivia games, chariot racing, wearing weird or colorful clothing, and so on.

    Dice players fresco from the Osteria della Via di Mercurio (VI                                  10,1.19, room b), in situ wall fresco, Pompeii
               Image Source: etc.worldhistory.org/saturnalia-festival/

● Even the conservatively clothed aristocracy dressed in brightly colored fabrics such as red, purple and gold. This outfit was called the synthesis, meaning they put together whatever clothes they wanted. And no togas. This was a time for relaxation.

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● People would feast in their homes. According to the historian Livy, by 217 BC there was also a huge public feast at the oldest temple in Rome, the Temple of Saturn.

Macrobius confirms this, and says that the rowdy participants would spill out onto the street, with the participants shouting, “Lo, lo, lo!" [“Io” is pronounced like yō.] 
Image Source: reason.com/happy-saturnalia-2019/
THE LORD OF MISRULE
A part of the festivities that was particularly popular in many households was the selection of a mock king. The mock king, or Saturnalicius princeps, got to run around the house for a week, giving everyone commands and a hard time. The mock king was also called "The Lord of Misrule" and his job was to make mischief during the week.
​

The person who received this honor was selected by chance. A small coin was baked into a cake and whomever was served the piece of cake with the coin inside was deemed the Lord of Misrule.                                                          Image Source: solascendans.com/lord-of-misrule/ ▼

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Once chosen, this person would:
     ●Insult guests!
     ●Wear crazy clothing!
     ●Chase people around the house!
    ●Plan scandalous party entertainment!

I found no indication that the household Lord of Misrule took his antics outside of the household. However, because of the general atmosphere, I imagine it happened often.

GIFT GIVING
The Christmas tradition of giving gifts arises, in part, from Saturnalia. December 19 was the Sigillaria, the Roman day of giving gifts. Saturnalia was more about a change in attitudes rather than giving gifts. 
Because the whole spirit of the celebration was generosity and equality in the eyes of Saturn, the god, the value of the gifts was also reversed in terms of social status. Pottery and wax figurines called sigillaria were made for this day.

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▲Pottery and bronze figurines 3rd century                                                                 Clay mask from Lipari, Sicily
BC & 1st century AD  (British Museum)                                        Image Source: latinata.com/kRomanSaturnalia
Image Source:  alison-morton.com/saturnalia
In  truth, the gifts given were both very expensive (like furniture or jewels) or in the nature of gag-gifts, but the original spirit of the day was that token gifts of low intrinsic value inversely meant the giver considered the friendship as being very dear and high quality. Children received toys as gifts. People gave food items, fruit, cutlery and kitchen items and practical gifts as well a decorative. Other types of gifts  might include white candles, named cerei, which signified the increase of light after the solstice. This practice of gift giving can also be looked at like sending greeting cards.

It was also the custom to compose an epigram to go along with the Saturnalia gift. Although gifts were given at any time during the festival, it was customary to give your dinner guests, which included servants and slaves, a present. Since the Romans ate stuffed dormice, they were often given as a gift. This is an English translation example example of an epigram that went goes with a dormouse. 
latinata.com/kRomanSaturnaliaGifts.html
DORMICE
I snooze the whole winter long and am fatter at that
time, when nothing except sleep nourishes me.
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DECORATIONS
The colors of Saturnalia were green and gold, and the Romans decorated their homes with evergreen wreaths, garlands made of pine branches, mistletoe, and holly. Gold decorations in the traditional shapes of the sun and stars, pinecones, nuts, acorns, or animals, were added.
                                     
Photo source: biblepaedia.wordpress.com/saturnalia 
CANDLES

The Romans had a long tradition of lighting candles (wax tapers) and torches as part of their ceremonies. Whether or not this practice derived from an old prophecy which bade the earliest inhabitants of Latium to “send heads to Hades and to Saturn.” The ancient Latins interpreted this to mean human sacrifices, but according to legend, Hercules advised using lights (phos means “light” or “man” according to accent) and not human heads.
​
Apparently they accepted that mythical advice and instead lit candles to honor Saturn.


From the beginning of Christianity, fire and light serve as symbols of the divine nature and the divine presence. Christ is the true Light. Light represents the purifying presence of god.
It would not seem a stretch for the new Christians to adopt the idea of candles in their services, but according to Wikipedia, “There is no evidence of any ceremonial use of lights in Christian worship during its first two centuries." 
​

HOW DID SATURNALIA BECOME CHRISTMAS?
Obviously, that didn't happen. One didn't become the other, but the process of religious syncretism blended the old pagan rituals from the celebration of Saturn with the religious beliefs of the new Christianity, resulting in a new religious tradition.

December 25 is celebrated by the Christian religions as the day Jesus Christ was born. In English, the word Christmas is derived from old English Christ Mass. The actual date of the Christ child’s birth is unknown, and many historians and theologians believe his birth more likely occurred in the spring. Some people use that fact to make strange arguments about the holiday, but that is all rhetoric.

Whether or not Christ was born on December 25, this is the date the Christian religion has chosen to celebrate the birthday. It’s similar to having your birthday party on Saturday, when your real birthday is Thursday.


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  Image source: https://www.christianity.com/church/church-history/timeline/301-600/the-1st-recorded-celebration-of-christmas-11629658.html
During the first 300 or so years of Christianity, the Baptism of Christ, not his birth, was considered more important and was celebrated on January 6, the Epiphany. The first known celebration of Christmas on December 25 was in 336 AD during the time of the Roman Emperor Constantine, the first Christian Roman Emperor. At that time the day had no official status. About fifteen years later (350 AD), Pope Julius I declared December 25 as the official date of Christmas. It wasn’t until 529 AD that Emperor Justinian made Christmas a civic holiday.

December 25 obviously coincides with the pagan festival of Saturnalia. One popular interpretation is that by selecting this date, religious leaders hoped to convert the pagan masses to Christianity by promising them that they could continue to celebrate the Saturnalia more or less the way it had always been, as Christians. Thus, early Christmas holidays were celebrated by drinking, sexual indulgence, singing naked in the streets, a precursor of modern caroling. 

Another major consideration was the “concept in Judaism that link the time of the deaths of prophets being linked to their conception or birth. From this, early ecclesiastical number-crunchers extrapolated that the nine months of Mary’s pregnancy following the Annunciation on March 25th would produce a December 25th date for the birth of Christ.”
https://www.historytoday.com

Over time the celebrations took on a Christian theme and theology but maintained the same spirit as a time of year for peace on earth, equality for all, good will towards man, and generosity for all. Thus, Saturnalia eventually evolved into Christmas.

If you are Christian -
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
If you are not - HAPPY HOLIDAYS, GOOD WILL, and HONOR TO YOUR REGILGIOUS DAYS. 

2021 Sources
https://allthatsinteresting.com/height-roman-empire-map
https://colosseumrometickets.com/temple-saturn/
https://guernseydonkey.com/did-the-romans-invent-christmas/
 https://www.historyextra.com/period/roman/how-did-the-romans-celebrate-christmas/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_ancient_Rome
http://jeremyvarner.com/blog/2016/12/history-of-the-holidays-saturnalia/
https://etc.worldhistory.org/education/saturnalia-festival/
https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/saturnalia-what-controversial-mythology-behind-roman-drinking-festival-1482726
https://www.learnreligions.com/about-celebrating-saturnalia-2562994
https://reason.com/volokh/2019/12/17/happy-saturnalia-2019/
https://www.elixirofknowledge.com/2014/08/saturnalia-ancient-roman-festival.html
https://www.flickr.com/photos/crawfda/15438379997
https://reason.com/2019/12/17/happy-saturnalia-2019/
https://solascendans.com/2013/12/17/jesus-christ-lord-of-misrule/
https://www.britannica.com/topic/Saturnalia-Roman-festival
https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photo-chiuso-closed-sign-italian-language-wooden-rustic-text-hanging-rope-rock-image70738731
https://www.nexusmods.com/skyrim/mods/28093/#:~:text=Saturalia%20-%20Christmas%20in%20Skyrim%20Saturalia%20is%20traditionally,parties%2C%20and%20parading.%20Visitors%20are%20encouraged%20to%20participate.
https://www.christianity.com/church/church-history/timeline/301-600/the-1st-recorded-celebration-of-christmas-11629658.html
https://www.christianity.com/church/church-history/timeline/301-600/the-1st-recorded-celebration-of-christmas-11629658.html
Older Sources
https://www.wikihow.com/Celebrate-Saturnalia
https://www.naturalnavigator.com/news/2008/11/saturnalia-christmas-and-common-sense/
https://museumhack.com/saturnalia-christmas/
https://www.historyextra.com/period/roman/how-did-the-romans-celebrate-christmas/
https://www.creativejeffrey.com/creative/innovative_christmas.phphttps:/www.britannica.com/topic/feast-religion/Types-and-kinds-of-feasts-and-festivals
https://www.historytoday.com/archive/did-romans-invent-christmas
https://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/Christmas_TheRealStory.htm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5uG6zaDaIM
https://theluminessence.wordpress.com/2017/12/19/a-saturnalia-ritual/
/mahttps://www.lnstar.com/mallin-areas/xmas-not-first-choice.htm
https://travelingboy.com/travel/saturnalia-history-christmas/
https://alison-morton.com/2018/12/16/saturnalia-serious-roman-festival-or-free-for-all/


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Part 2 - CHRISTMAS PLANS GONE AWRY: A Harriet Ruby Christmas Fantasy

12/17/2021

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​A Christmas Fantasy
Copyright R. Ann Siracusa
Rated R 
Chapter Three
     At about one o'clock that afternoon, my group and I straggled into the hotel after our walking tour to St. Peter's and the Vatican.
     "Well, that was a life-altering experience," Woodie announced as we stumbled our way back to the meeting room.
     Behind him, Mavis dragged Basil along with a firm grip on his earlobe. "I've never been so embarrassed."
     I didn't see Will but felt his presence the instant I walked through the door. The zing, snap, crackle of our incredible emotional connection hit me like a bolt of lightning.
     When I spotted him standing near the entrance to our meeting lounge, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, my temperature soared and perspiration beaded on my skin. My breath caught, and it was all I could do to keep from ripping off my clothes and jumping his bones. Well, we hadn't seen each other for more than three weeks.
I smiled at him and did a finger wave.
     Woodie chortled. "That your hunk, Inspector Harriet?"
     "He's not my..." Well, actually, he did fit the description, along with a number of others like gorgeous and horny. When I made a feeble attempt to look indignant, Mavis whacked me on the butt.
     "Don't even bother. Both of you are drooling."
     Yeah, well. What could I say? I'd already explained the situation.
     Will pulled away from the wall and closed the distance. "Hi, Harriet. How'd the morning tour go?" He ran a finger around the inside of his collar.
     I wanted to throw myself into his arms and slobber kisses all over him, but being on the job, I restrained myself and smiled chastely. "Hello, Will. It wasn't exactly an auspicious beginning."
     "I can't wait." He rolled his eyes at me and extended his hand to Woodie. "Will Talbot."
The men shook, although Will had to bend a little, and Woodie stood on tip toes.
     "I'm Elwood. Woodie for short. The master carver."
     "Elwood ELF," I murmured, watching for some sign of amazement or incredulity from Will. No dice!
     Mavis let go of Basil's ear and, batting her eyelashes, sidled up to Will, brushing against him like a cat rubbing the master's legs. Sort of a physical mismatch.
     "Hi, handsome, you must be Will. Harriet's told us al-ll about you. I'm Mavis, public relations."
     "Mavis
ELF." And I hadn't told her al-ll about him. Mostly, I don't share with anyone, at least intentionally. Like I said, sometimes I speak without my brain in gear.
     "Nice to meet you both." Will glanced at me and raised one eyebrow languidly, a sign of amusement. "So, what happened?"
     "It was absolutely humiliating," Mavis answered for me. "We were in St. Peter's Square looking at the beautiful crèche, when Basil, who paints nativity scenes on candles and decorator soaps, climbed inside and ended up in the baby Jesus' cradle."
     "I only wanted to find the baby figure so I could study the face," Basil, the youngest and smallest of the elves, cut in defensively. "When it wasn't there, I thought maybe it had slipped to the bottom."
     "You be quiet!" Mavis snapped. "You shouldn't have popped up in the cradle in front of a group of tourists."
     "How was I supposed to know they were there? I couldn't see. It wasn't my fault that fat lady fainted and broke her arm."
     As the group gathered around us and gawked at Will―he looked gigantic next to the elves―I put my hand on Woodie's shoulder and murmured, "I really don't think he could be related to Won't."
     Spitting his ubiquitous cigar onto the carpet, Woodie nodded. "Nah, as much as it hurts, I've got to agree with you, sweet cakes."
     My eye twitched.
     As Mavis introduced Will to everyone, I watched him smile at each upturned face, shake hands, and make appropriate small talk. He never blinked an eye, looked a look, or spoke a word to imply these folks might be different than any anyone else. He is good!
     Finally, he eased away from the others and stepped close to me. Grinning, he murmured, "This tour group isn't what you expected, is it?"
     Frustrated, I fisted my hands. "In case you haven't noticed, they are elves, not children."
My sarcasm fell on deaf ears. Of course, he'd noticed, and he seemed content to accept the situation for what it appeared to be. Could I be the only person on earth with reality conflicts?
     The two chaperone elves exchanged glances, then Woodie rounded up the others. "Okay, it's time for lunch. Everyone go to the café. It's buffet style."
     Mavis cornered Happy. "Don't let Basil sneak back into the bar again. That Dragon Blood is too strong for the kid. We don't want a repeat of this morning."
     Happy nodded and looked, well, happy. "Don't worry. We'll be back in an hour."
     Mavis planted herself in front of Will and me. "Do you two have a few minutes? We have something to discuss."
     Discuss? Reluctantly, I wrenched my thoughts away from all the things I wanted to do as soon as Will and I were alone. Right! Find the baker. I ground my teeth, unsure how he might take the request to play detective for Mr. Claus...Saint Nicholas...the big fella. Whomever.
     Will shot me a puzzled frown, and I nodded. "Sure, we can stay for a while."
     I led the way to the sofas, hoping Will would follow and not stomp out the front door heading for the nearest cold shower. We could fight later. It always made for good makeup sex.
     We sat. My superspy extraordinaire draped his arm over my shoulder, pulling me close. As I leaned into his warmth, all my girly parts sizzled. Oh, man. I hoped this wouldn't take long. The heat between us flared so fast we might have to book a room, if we could even make it upstairs.
     Once we settled, Woodie busied himself by stuffing cookies in his face in place of the putrid cigar, and Mavis quickly laid out the problem of finding Geppetto with only an e-mail address.
     "Harriet said since you're both...ah...stuck with us for the week, you might be willing to help us find him. What's your take?"
     Will's forehead crinkled into a frown. From the lecherous grin flickering at the corners of his mouth, I surmised his only desire to play detective related to me under the sheets. But being the master of self-control, he focused on the problem to please me...well, actually to get us out of there so we could get naked.
     "Hmm." He hums when he's thinking or doesn't want to answer. "If you have the e-mail address, it shouldn't be too hard for me to locate him."
     He had all kinds of incredible spy―and, well, personal―equipment.
     Woodie stopped munching and pushed Will's hand away to tap me on the shoulder. "Oh, let me guess? He's a hacker, maybe?"
     My eye twitched again. Woodie had a real attitude problem.
     I reach up and plopped Will's hand back where it had been, although maybe not quite as close to the boob as before, and gave the elf a squinty-eyed glare. "Law enforcement."
     Will put on his most ferocious frown and assumed command. "Settle down, you two." 
    Mavis giggled. Woodie looked chagrined. "You have another tour this afternoon, don't you?" He didn't look entirely pleased about that.

     Mavis, Woodie, and I nodded.
    "Okay," he continued.  "Mavis, if you'll write down the information, I'll see what I can find out before you get back. We can investigate all kinds of venues under the auspices of sightseeing, depending on what I can find out about Geppetto while you're out."
​

Chapter Four
     An hour into our jaunt through the Roman Coliseum, Will called me on my cell phone.
     "Ciao, Harriet. I've located an address for the baker. Write this down."
     I scrambled for my pad and pencil. "That was fast."
     "I'm highly motivated to get you here as quickly as possible."
     "Right. I'll give it to them. Thanks." I scribbled the name and address on my itinerary, then on a piece of empty paper, and told him I'd be at the apartment no later than five.
     "Here's the address you're looking for." I handed the note it to Woodie. "It's not that far from here."
     "Thanks, Inspector Sweet Cakes. Mavis, shake your booty. Let's blow this Roman Gladiator show and find the cook. We'll skip the rest of the tour."
     Oh, man. If my boss found out I'd cancelled part of a tour, I would be so-o in trouble.
     Mavis nodded sympathetically. "It's okay, Harriet. It's our tour, and we want to take the afternoon off. Go meet your...ahem...friend, and we'll take a taxi to Geppetto's. Give me your phone number, and we'll let you know what happens."
     On my pad, I scribbled down my cell phone number and the address of the place Will and I share when he's in Rome, shoved it into her hands, and raced out of there.
When I entered the apartment, Will rose from the couch where he'd been watching television.
     "Hi. I'm home." Before he could answer, I threw down my backpack and launched a full frontal attack that landed us both on the sofa, knocking pillows and newspapers onto the floor.  After a few minutes of hot and sweaty foreplay, I murmured, "Not here."
     By the time we rolled onto the floor, the sofa upholstery was damp with perspiration. Leaving a pile of pillows and magazines on the floor along with my shirt and bra, we stumbled, laughing and touching, down the hall. A trail of discarded clothing followed us into the bedroom. With my head start, I undressed first. As Will kicked off his shorts, I tackled him around the legs and knocked him backward onto the bed.
     "Oof!"
     The surprise attack gave me a chance to scramble astride his perfect body and plant my rear on his abdomen. With arms rigid, I pressed his shoulders into the mattress.
"What?" A broad grin spread across his handsome face.
     "Okay, pal. Before you touch anything else, you have to explain what's going on with these...ah...little people."
     All bravado. My strategic advantage would only last as long as his tolerance, and that wasn't likely to endure more than a sentence or two. We were both anxious to make up for lost time.
     "Why are you asking me? They're your group, not mine."
     He leered at me and my pulse rate skyrocketed. My blood burned with desire, sending tingles from the roots of my hair to my toes.
     "C'mon Will, they insist they're elves...Santa's elves, no less...and you're acting like this is no big surprise. Ho hum."
     He shrugged, his muscles rippling against the pressure of my hands. "A lot of things in this life are unexplainable."
     "I'm losing it, aren't I? I've been run over by the Popemobile in St. Peter's Square, right?" I shook his shoulders. "Tell me that at this very moment I'm really lying half dead in San Camillo hospital, hallucinating, while a normal husband and wife with eleven children stand around my bed crying."
     "It's Christmas time, Harriet. Miracles happen. Who am I to question?"
     Okay. This is getting nowhere.
     Putting aside my state of dazed bafflement—I wanted to get on to other things―I redirected the conversation. "Speaking of that, what do you want for Christmas?"
     "Hmm." He rolled me underneath him and straddled me. "You―as much time with you as possible."
     Oh, man. The one thing he wants, and I can't deliver. Frustrated, I sucked in oxygen then blew out a long disappointed breath. I wanted the same thing he did.
     Sitting back on his heels, his hands rested on the thick ropes of muscles along his thighs as they pinned my arms loosely to my sides. His favorite position.
     My tight nipples ached for his touch. My temperature rose in anticipation.
Ohmigod, what a package! I really didn't mind being underneath. The view, already hard and hot, inspired me.
     Leaning over me, his lips brushed mine, then he buried his face against my heaving chest and took one taut nipple into his mouth, his teeth nibbling lightly, his tongue flicking over the hardened peak and drawing it deeper.
     With a cry of delight, I arched my back, pressing closer to his hot mouth, my fingernails biting into his biceps.
     His hands spanned my waist and ran up and down the length of my torso, thumbs skimming my rib cage, my abdomen and--gulp—my thighs. My pulse pounded in my ears.
Molten heat spread out from every place he touched, melting my insides. The texture of his hands brought every nerve ending to the surface in waves of tension. The scent of aftershave and Will Talbot maleness made my mouth water for the slightly salty taste of his skin.
     He spread my legs and positioned one over his shoulder. His tongue raked along the inside of my thigh. My belly contracted, and I arched my body to meet his mouth.  He nibbled, sucked, and licked until I writhed and begged for release.
     Well, maybe I screamed a little, too.
     He rolled us over again. On top, I sank down on him. My flesh welcomed his full length inside, tightening around him. He groaned with pleasure. "Jesus, Harriet."
     At first, I moved my hips slowly, but our need drove us harder, faster, deeper. His strong fingers pressed into my buttocks, guiding me, setting the pace. His body rippled with tremors.
     "Ahhh, Tiger."
     He exploded in me. Reality shattered into a million tiny lights around us and together we shot off into space riding wave after wave of ecstasy, a long, long trip.
     Hot and sweaty, I collapsed on top of him as we drifted back to earth.
When I could breathe again, I rose on arms so weak they trembled. I looked into his hypnotic blue eyes, quaking with emotions I couldn't even put words to. Connected. Filled. Powerful. Joyful and yet fearful. Whole. Drained and limp. Contented and wanted.
Too much to begin to comprehend.
     And already the tension built inside me again.
     "Wow!" I managed finally. "When the paramedics leave, let's do that again."
     "If you're going to fibrillate every time, we'd better set them up in the extra bedroom." He hooked a strand of sweaty hair behind my ear. "You have no idea what you do to me."
Warmth spread through me, touching me in a way I'd never experienced before. "Show me."
     That's when my cell phone rang. 
     Our gazes locked, and we both uttered desperate sighs.
     No! No! No! Not now. My girly parts were still smoking and demanding more of his attention. This is not a good time!
     The phone chirped again.
     He rolled me off him. "You're supposed to be working, remember? You'd better answer it."
     I threw myself off the bed, scrambled around to find my pants and retrieved my phone. "Hello, this is Harriet."
     "Hello, Inspector Clouseau," Woodie's voice grated on my ear. "We just wanted to let you two love birds know we found Geppetto. He couldn't make the delivery 'cause his oven blew up and replacement parts aren't available till after the New Year. Without the bakery, he couldn't pay his bills, so his Internet service was disconnected."
     "Let me talk to her." I heard Mavis in the background, then, "Harriet, I've made arrangements for Geppetto to use the kitchen at the Hotel Foletto for the baking. If the staff and the rest of us help, we should be able to make three or four deliveries before the deadline. And to thank you for your help, our Christmas present to Will is your undivided attention for the rest of the week. We'll take care of ourselves."
     I sucked in a surprised breath. "Do you mean that?"
     Woodie must have snatched the phone. "Don't you speak English? I'm against this, but Mavis insists. This is gonna be a long week. More fun than being offed on Christmas day."
     "I might arrange that event myself. Give me that phone." Mavis came back on the line. "Harriet, you can get back to your hunk and give him his present."
     "I...don't know what to say..." I murmured, overwhelmed.
     "Try thank you, and Merry Christmas. We'll be in touch in a few days."
"Thank you, and Merry Christmas."
     I clicked off, explained the plan to Will, and by eleven o'clock we were well into the fourth installment of his Christmas present when the doorbell rang.
     "Now what?" I moaned. "Let's pretend we're not here."
Grunting his displeasure, he untangled his limbs from mine and slipped into his jeans. "I'll get it." He headed bare-chested to the door. After a few seconds, he yelled, "Jesus, Harriet! Get in here!"
     I threw myself off the bed, grabbed a throw from the chair, and scampered down the hall wrapping the blanket around me just as Will opened the front door.
     Woodie pushed his way into the room, cigar hanging from his lips. "Nice rags, Inspector Sweet Cakes. Okay, Happy, let's get them in here and settled." The elf waved Happy into the room with the rest of the excited and chattering elves behind him."
     "But...but..." I sputtered, half raising one arm. "What about your promise?"
     Oblivious to our state of shock and bewilderment, Woodie directed elves to all corners of the apartment. "You two, move the furniture against the wall, then put the tables in here. Happy and Basil, you can bring in the baked goodies. I'll―"
     I grabbed his arm. "What do you think you're doing? You can't―"
     "Better hold on to that blanket." Woodie sprinkled cigar ashes on the tile floor. "We got a little problem working here."
     "What problem?" I cried, waving my hands. Oops!
     Eyes bugged and major gasps erupted as the blanket dropped to my waist. As I struggled to pull the corner out from under my foot and cover my heaving bosom, Will pushed my semi-nakedness behind him.
     "Hi, guys." Mavis entered, one arm around the hunched shoulders of a short man in white wearing a burned chef's hat above black stubs of eyebrows. Tendrils of smoke rose from his singed gray beard. Tears streaked the soot-covered face.
     Geppetto Elf, I presume.
     "Sorry about this, but we have to renege on your Christmas present," Mavis hurried on. "We were almost finished with the baking until Geppetto here had a smidgen of an accident in the hotel kitchen."
     Both my eyes twitched.
     "Reindeer poop!" Woodie clapped the man on the back hard enough to send him stumbling forward. "The asshole burned down the whole freakin' hotel. We're going to have to finish the job packaging the goodies here."
     Will and I gaped at him with our mouths in fly-catcher mode as Happy, Basil, and another elf began to carry arms loads of Christmas breads into our apartment.
     "Why here?" I murmured, more for something to say than anything. My brain was on overload again.
     Woodie shot us a mischievous smile. "Geppetto's place is too small, plus he hasn't been able to pay his light bill. It'd be perfect for you two, though—in the dark and all—but the bed is a little short."
     "I have a better idea," Mavis piped up, grinning at us. "You need to lighten up. What you two need is a Christmas tree."
     "A what?" Will almost shouted, the first indication I'd seen that he wasn't, after all, taking the situation in stride. He jerked forward as though he intended to whop her upside the head...or maybe it was downside, under the circumstances.
     I grabbed his arm and held him back, whispering, "What happened to 'Miracles happen' and 'Who am I to question?'?" At the time, I'd had a sneaking suspicion he was pulling my chain.
     Santa's public relations elf extraordinaire put her arms around us...our legs, anyway. "You know. A tall pointy tree with pine needles. Green. You hang shiny gadgets and ornaments on it."
     "Mavis, that is not funny." My usually good humor had begun to fade, and I was getting angry as well as cold. Maybe I shouldn't have restrained him. "Besides, there isn't a Christmas tree lot anywhere near here."
     She shrugged. "Sure there is. Right around the corner from here. The guy who runs it has a cozy little house at the back of the lot with a big fire place and a bear skin rug. He'll be over here helping, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you stay all week. Whatever it takes."
     Will smirked. "Who knew packaging baked goods could take so long?" With a twinkle in his eye, he winked at me. "Maybe miracles do happen. Are you coming, Harriet?"
     Hmm. Well, I wasn't exactly sure what Will had in mind, but one place we'd never done it was a Christmas tree lot. Titillated with the idea, I winked back and smiled. "Sure. Should I get dressed first, or just wear the blanket?"
     He raised one eyebrow. "You'd better put something on...but not too much. But bring the blanket and a bottle of Bailey's with you. I'm not sure I believe the part about the bear skin rug."
     All the elves tittered and wished us a merry Christmas when we headed for the door. Just outside, Woodie stopped us and sprinkled ashes on the mat.
     "You're not so bad after all, Inspector Sweet Cakes. I'll put in a good word for you with the Big Guy. We should be gone by the time you get back with your tree." He raised his voice for that last part. Laughter came from inside. "Thanks. Merry Christmas, and enjoy your Christmas present."
     We fully intended to do just that.

□
​JUST SAYIN! MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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SINGLES’ DAY: The World’s Biggest Shopping Day

12/3/2021

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TODAY IS DECEMBER 3
The most significant but uninteresting event occurring on December 3 ‒ for all times, it appears ‒ was when Sir Thomas Herriot introduced potatoes to England from Columbia in 1586. This actually proved to be the most significant factor for population expansion and agricultural enhancement across Europe. These benefits ultimately allowed for the rapid industrialization and military conquest launched by select European nations. 

Be that as it may, this blog does not have anything to do with December 3. The subject is about the biggest worldwide shopping day.

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SINGLES’ DAY
What? You’re a shopping aficionado and you’ve never heard of it? Well, let me tell you… I hadn’t either, until I did research for my blog Black Friday Around The World. I’m just a regular dinosaur these days.

According to Wikipedia (but no other source I found) Singles' Day was originally called Bachelors' Day. It is an unofficial Chinese holiday to celebrate people who are not in relationships.

Singles’ Day originated in China in 1993. A group of lonely, yet positive, students at Nanjing University came up with the idea. These male students conceived the idea of celebrating the fact they were all single and without a girlfriend. The four roommates were tired of the day to day life as ‘single dogs’ as they are called in China and wanted to change this. They decided that instead of lamenting their lack of a significant other, they would instead celebrate being single, and selected November 11, 1993 as the debut date.

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​Initially there was no commercial aspect or intent. Subsequent to November 11, 1993, the date became a kind of anti-Valentine’s Day celebration of singledom which caught on and spread across universities throughout China and Southeat Asia, generally characterized by fun, harmless events.
​ 

Image source: millionairedating.onluxy.com/china-singles-day

One student, for example, reserved every other seat in a movie theater, prohibiting couples from sitting next to each other during a screening of Beijing Love Story, an aptly named romantic film.                                                     Image Source: telegraph.co.uk/chinas-singles-day ▼

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The Singles’ Day has also been adopted by the Chinese as sort of a Valentine’s Day for couples. In Beijing, 4,000 couples got married on November 11, compared to the average of 700 per day.

WHAT’S IN A NAME?
The date for the observation of singledom was not selected at random. There are number of reasons. First, 11/11 looks like four, single sticks, strung together trying to make the most out of their time, and the date has become the symbol of the holiday.


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Second, the date, November 11 (11/11), was chosen because the numeral 1 resembles a bare stick which apparently is Chinese Internet slang for an unmarried man who does not add 'branches' to the family tree.

Now, Singles’ Day, is the busiest and most lucrative shopping day in the world, enjoyed by single men and women, and married ones, too.
How did that happen?


IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT MONEY
The holiday in China went along for about a decade as a day for fun, planks, and shopping, a day with single folks celebrating their freedom, until the CEO of one of the largest online purchasing companies in the world, Alibaba, based in China, recognized the commercial potential.

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Singles’ Day was kicked into high gear in 2009 when Alibaba created and heavily promoted the first Singles’ Day shopping festival from November 1 thru 11 that year, sparking a trend that has now surpassed Cyber Monday in single-day transactions.
​
Alibaba has turned the day into a festival week of performances and activities. Stars appearing at the gala performance the night before the 11/11 shopping sales start, include Nicole Kidman and Jesse Alba 2017, Taylor Swift at Alibaba's Shanghai event in 2019, and Katy Perry performing in a livestream in 2020. Not merely a shopping event, the holiday is also a day when people can party to socialize and meet other people, as well as practicing traditions that celebrate the single life.       
Jesse Alba stars at 2017 Alibaba Singles’ Day Festivities ▼
                                                           Image Source: adweek.com/performance-marketing/singles-day 

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Worldwide in 2019, shoppers spent $7.4 billion US dollars during the Black Friday weekend and an additional $9.4 billion on Cyber Monday. Even when combined, these numbers come nowhere close to Singles’ Day spending of $38 billion dollars. Source: techradar.com/news/singles-day-officially-bigger

There has been a slow down in the Chinese market in the past couple of years for certain political reasons, but the phenomenon of “Single’s Day” shopping has spread worldwide, supported heavily in Southeast Asia.

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WHAT MORE COULD A GIRL WANT?
Exactly! Another day to legitimately spend two or three days shopping… and, hopefully, enough money to do it right.

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                China - Image Credit: Alibaba                                                                                                    Shoppers in Poland
Image Source: techradar.com/news/singles-day              Image  Source: polki.pl/praca-i-finanse/pieniadze,udane-zakup
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In a sense, it is not so much which countries acknowledge the day as it is which online retailers promote the event with sales and promotions, similar to Cyber Monday. In the United Kingdom it is called National Singles Day, but it is celebrated on March 11. Indonesia celebrates on 11/11 and has dubbed it “Harbolnas” or National Online Shopping Day.
 
▲ On of the problems in China is the leftover trash from Singles Day
  Image Source: wlz-online.de/verbraucher/singles-day
 

MediaMarkt, a German company, promotes Singles' Day in their stores in Germany and throughout Europe. In Belgium public reaction has been somewhat negative since November 11 is the anniversary of the Armistice that ended WWI and a day of commemoration of the war dead in Belgium.

In 2016, Swedish electronics retailer Elgiganten promoted a Singles’ Day campaign in Norway before implementing it in the other Nordic countries in 2017. Singles’ Day has yet to reach the Western and Southern Hemispheres, but who knows?

USA - HOME SWEET HOME
The American public is unlikely to embrace November 11 as a national shopping day. In part because we have our own frenzied holiday shopping days, but primarily that is because that date is Veterans Day which, hopefully, is far more important to US citizens than holiday shopping. Singles Awareness Day is the US was created primarily from the same feelings of isolation that started Singles’ Day in China.

“Around 2001, Dustin Barnes decided to create a day for his group of friends to enjoy their singleness rather than drown in their sorrows. This group of high school boys not only chose February 15 as a protest of Valentine’s Day but also realized they could score candy and love-themed items at a huge discount."  Dustin carried the tradition from his high school on to Mississippi State University, where the holiday gained popularity.
​nationaltoday.com/singles-awareness-day/                     
​

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​Singles Awareness Day was copyrighted in 2005 and continued to grow from there. Not surprising! The Census Bureau indicates that about one third of the adult population in the US reports themselves as single or not in an ongoing relationship.

Adults of all ages celebrate the day as a reminder that you don’t need a relationship to celebrate love. You can love yourself, your family, and your friends. There’s no reason to feel lonely around Valentine’s Day when love is all around you. And it doesn’t cost you a penny.

JUST SAYIN

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Sources:

https://www.investopedia.com/terms/s/singles-day.asp
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alibaba_Group
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/singles%27_day
https://nationaltoday.com/singles-day/
https://www.techradar.com/news/singles-day-officially-bigger-than-black-friday-and-cyber-monday-combined
 https://www.adweek.com/commerce/americans-shopping-more-nov-11-dont-call-singles-day/
https://millionairedating.onluxy.com/china-singles-day-alibaba-online-shopping.html
http://www.polki.pl/praca-i-finanse/pieniadze,udane-zakup
https://www.cnn.com/2021/11/10/business/china-singles-day-intl-hnk/index.html
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/black-friday/0/what-is-chinas-singles-day-and-how-does-it-compare-to-black-frid/
https://www.k-international.com/blog/shopping-holidays-around-the-world/
https://www.marketing91.com/top-10-alibaba-competitors/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singles_Awareness_Day
https://nationaltoday.com/singles-awareness-day/
https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2020/estimates-families-living-arrangements.html
https://theopinionator.com/its-singles-day-the-most-ginormous-shopping-day-of-the-year/
 
https://news.yahoo.com/singles-day-alibabas-annual-event-054530003.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmluZy5jb20v&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAEqviMSHGHA6tM4wHXNDRT-2J3DXhhDohXlWcsPP-7EmjTtIEp7fMolLjY_nZAqfPj_G6F30t0qTrFkzYvyUJnaAe1S4uF5n15OZDU6__M

https://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/economics/chinas-singles-day-and-the-war-of-ideas/news-story/8badd70feceabb08c27ccae9bad0b49b

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/singles%27_day#:~:text=the%20holiday%20has%20now%20become%20the%20largest%20physical,usd%20%2444.5%20billion%20total%20sales%20volume%20in%202017.
​

https://www.wlz-online.de/verbraucher/singles-day-black-friday-china-usa-amazon-alibaba-einkaufen-shoppen-rabatte-angebote-cyber-monday-umsatz-zr-90096077.html
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    Author R. Ann Siracusa

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