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THE DREADED NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

1/3/2020

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THERE IS STILL TIME TO MAKE THOSE NEW YEAR'S RESOLTUIONS
Even though it's already January 3, there is still plenty of time to make the dreaded resolutions for 2020. We've only lost three days. But why bother? Statistics show that most [80%] of these promises to change something about our lives endure for only one month, and then peter out until everything reverts back to the status quo.
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                                                                                Cartoon Source: www.rusherrogers.com.au/new-years-resolutions
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IF YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT CHANGE
Adults can change behavior, but it takes a lot of conscious effort. Isn’t that why parents try to teach their children good habits when they’re young? Although I’ve often wondered why children pick up their parent’s bad habits in the blink of an eye, but never pick up the good ones, like brushing their teeth after every meal. Go figure!

Personally, I believe it’s a mistake to start out by announcing to the world that you are making some resolution or another; that this is what you are going to do. It’s easy to fall off the “Resolution Wagon”. Things become embarrassing when you have to admit you have failed, or to lie about it. Then to your friends and relatives you are both a failure and a liar. However, some people prefer that approach, and if it works for you, more power to it.


WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY
Not being an expert myself, I have to rely on others who claim to be. According to Daniel Wallen [www.lifehack.org/fail.html], writing about New Year’s Resolutions, “only 12% of you will ever experience the taste of victory. Sound bad? It is. 156 million people will probably give up on their resolution before you can say confetti." Wallen says there are a number of reasons we fail to carry out our resolutions, including:
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● Treating A Marathon Like A Sprint
● Not Believing In Yourself
● Being Too Much Of A Hurry

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● Putting The Cart Before The Horse
● Not Enjoying The Process
● Trying Too Hard
● Not Tracking Your Progress

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Photo source: carpedieminks.in/cart-beforehorse/

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● Too Much Thinking, Not Enough Doing
● Lacking Social Support
● You Know Your What, But Not Your Why.


​i.pinimg.com/overthinking - Photo source: https://www.pinterest.com/567664728010646445/

​My take on this advice is that individuals must let go of the “I want it all, and I want it NOW!” attitude and be serious and thoughtful about what they resolve to do, or give up doing the resolution thing, period. I mean, why set yourself up for failure? Don’t put pressure on yourself or let others do it to you.

Just as Wallen suggests setting goals, so does Dr. Shainna Ali, Ph.D., LMHC, writing in Psychology Today. [www.psychologytoday.com/new-years-resolutions] She indicates that although the reasons for failure to keep resolutions vary from person to person, there “are 4 common ways you are standing in the way of your success."
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● Your Goals Aren’t Clear
If you don’t know why don’ t know [honestly] why they are important to you or haven’t thought how achieving these goals would influence your life, you need to clarify the goals. Then go beyond by being sure your goals are specific, measurable, and realistic. You can't lose 100 pounds in a month.

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● You Feel Overwhelmed
You don’t know where to start. There can be pressure to hurry up and change from your environment, culture, loved ones, and even from yourself. Over time, the walls are beginning to close in on you, and can result in your quitting before you begin.

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● You Feel Discouraged
You may become impatient in the process. Perhaps you are not seeing signs of progress, or at least not as fast as you previously expected.

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​● You Are Not Ready To Change
Failure to thoroughly consider the corresponding what, when, where, and why may cause you to lack the ability to truly ask yourself if you are currently ready to make the necessary changes. That’s when we find every excuse under the sun to step away from our path.

​
Dr. Ali writes, “The crucial component is tailoring tasks that align with who you are and where you wish to be.” Be true to yourself in setting your goals.                                                Source: galleryfunnygame.blogspot.com/
                                                                                                                                                                https://www.pinterest.com/pin/559009372472546215/?lp=true

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​TRY A DIFFERENT APPROACH
The resolution to lose weight is the most common New Year’s resolution. Instead, The Real Buzz Team [www.realbuzz.com/new-years-resolutions/] suggests some different kinds of resolutions I found intriguing. Most of them are quite feasible and sound like fun rather than undue pressure.
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●.Get Your Photo Taken In Five Interesting Places
● Learn A Decent Party Trick
● Break A Record
● Make A New Friend A Month
● Develop A Good Relationship With Your Body
● Learn Something You Never Learned As A Child
● Try A New Food Each Week
● Make The Usual Unusual
● Sort Out A Financial Worry
● Do Something Nice For Others Every Day
Cartoon by T. Sirrell
Photo source: www.tsirrell.com/asp_scripts/


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HAVE FUN WITH IT
My father’s Annual New Year’s Resolution was always giving up robbing banks. Not that he ever robbed a bank or thought about it, but he never had trouble keeping his resolution.

Most of us just have fun with the idea and come up with goofy resolutions that are not serious …
I hope.



​Diet and Weight Management Resolutions
https://holidappy.com/holidays/FunnyNewYearsResolutions
I will...

● Lose weight by hiding it somewhere you'll never find it.
● Gain enough weight to get on "The Biggest Loser."
● Buy new clothes big enough to account for next year's holidays.
● Start smoking to lose weight.
● Stop smoking. I'll worry about the fire later.
● Lose weight by inventing an anti-gravity machine.
● Lose weight by living on the moon.
● Stop buttering my doughnuts.
​
"Realistic" Resolutions
https://holidappy.com/holidays/FunnyNewYearsResolutions

I will...
● Make a resolution to not make any more New Year resolutions.


Cartoon by Mike Smith                                                                                                  Cartoon by Debbie Ridpath Ohi – Will Write for Chocolate                         Cartoon Source: santamariatimes.com/editorial-cartoon                                  Cartoon Source: http://inkygirl.com/wwfc/2007/1/18/new-years-resolutions.html  

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                                                                                                                                     Cartoon by Charles Saxon
                                                                                                       source: www.art.com/products/charles-saxon

● Watch more movie remakes.
● Go back to school … to avoid paying my student loans.
● Keep it to myself that I have trouble with authority when I'm being interviewed.
● Spend less than $1,825 on coffee at Starbucks this year.
● Claim all my pets as dependents on my taxes.
● Put more embarrassing items in random peoples carts while shopping at Wal-Mart.
● Squeeze the tube of toothpaste from the end and not the middle.


Technology-Related Resolutions
https://holidappy.com/holidays/FunnyNewYearsResolutions
I will...
● Watch more cute and cuddly kitten videos on YouTube.
● Check my work e-mail account at least once this year.
● Switch my username to “password” and my password to “username” to make each harder for hackers to figure out.
● Stop sending e-mails with complaints about the boss
● Always check who I am responding to before I press the “reply all” key.       
Cartoon Source: trendingtalks.com/new-years-resolution

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● Watch less TV … in standard definition.
● Stop buying worthless junk on eBay—because QVC has better specials.
● Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes.
● Help kids stay safe by not texting on my cell phone while eating McDonald’s and speeding through crosswalks in school zones with a frost-covered windshield.
● Avoid fingertip soreness by learning to play Rock Band instead of a real guitar.
● Start a blog about how I would write more often if I had something important to write. Only make one blog entry and leave it published for years.
● Talk with a robot voice all the time.
​

Resolutions About Money and Finances
I will...
● Open a new credit card with a higher limit and pay off my old credit cards once and for all. And finally start going to the mall again.

● Save some money for a rainy day. That way I can shop online instead of having to go to an actual store.
● Keep better records throughout the year. That way I can listen to better music while I'm figuring my taxes.
● Look for investors for my "home office" business.
● Lower my bills by digging a hole to put them in.
● Avoid getting a divorce by practicing polygamy.
● Borrow things more often. Return them less often.
● Visit the grocery more often than restaurants, especially when free samples are being served.
● Stop throwing away money that could at least be burned for heat.


MY PERSONAL RESOLUTION for 2020
I resolve, In 2020, to pave at least One Mile of the “Road To Hell” with good intentions.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!
Sources:
https://runt-of-the-web.com/funniest-new-years-resolutions
https://hellogiggles.com/lifestyle/15-funny-af-new-years-resolutions-to-make-you-smile-at-the-end-of-this-terrible-year/
https://www.realbuzz.com/articles-interests/festive-health-fitness/article/10-unusual-new-years-resolutions/
https://holidappy.com/holidays/FunnyNewYearsResolutions
https://bemethis.com/20-most-funny-new-years-resolutions-vs-realities-that-will-make-you-laugh/
https://www.rd.com/funny-stuff/16-new-years-resolution-cartoons/
https://www.buzzfeed.com/christopherhudspeth/21-hilarious-new-years-tweets-thatll-have-you-laughing-your
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/10-reasons-why-new-years-resolutions-fail.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/modern-mentality/201812/why-new-years-resolutions-fail

Cartoons
http://www.tsirrell.com/asp_scripts/print_image.asp?WebsiteID=25193&GalleryID=125595&MediaID=5306989&Print=0
https://santamariatimes.com/opinion/editorial/editorial-cartoon-new-year-s-resolution/article_150f1d63-0d8e-513d-9c2c-7231b6552231.html
https://www.rusherrogers.com.au/new-years-resolutions/11-new-years-resolution-cartoons-that-are-hilariously-spot-on-1-2/
http://trendingtalks.com/10-new-years-resolution-cartoons-which-is-hilariously-spot-on/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/559009372472546215/?lp=true
https://www.art.com/products/p15063669530-sa-i6854172/charles-saxon-walter-am-i-a-new-year-s-resolution-new-yorker-cartoon.htm







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    Author R. Ann Siracusa

    Novelist, retired architect and urban planner, world traveler, quilter, owl collector, devoted wife-mother-grandmother, great-grandmother, and, according to some, wild-assed liberal.

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