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BLACK FRIDAY: May it rest in peace!

11/27/2020

I have to smile when I read phrases like “Black Friday is officially on Nov. 27 (it's always the day after Thanksgiving).” or “Black Friday has certainly changed over the years…”

Both those statements are correct, but to me they sound as if they were written by a millennial with no understanding of how Black Friday came about or the significance of the name. No, it is not an American tradition handed down over a few centuries and finally officially recognized. Neither the event nor the name has national or religious ties, unless you consider avarice as a religion.

That’s not what happened.

Oh, wait! This blog is not timely. If you are reading this at all, you’ve probably completed your Black Friday activities for the year. Why should you care?

IN THE BEGINNING
The term “Black Friday” is used in several contexts, the first dating back to the US financial crisis of September 24, 1869, when the U.S, gold market collapsed. After that "Black Whateverday" became a buzz word to denote financial downturns of large scale.

When I looked up the black days, these economic crises seem too frequent for comfort. Scary! The list is long but "Black Monday," October 19, 1987, and "Black Tuesday," October 29, 1929, stand out among the many.

The Financial Crisis Black Friday September 24, 1869 Black Monday, October 29, 1929
Photo Sourceamazon.com/Contemporary-American-Engraving Photo Source: crushthestreet.com/black-day-week

FAST FORWARD TO THE 1950’S
By the mid 20th century, the term “Black Friday” had come to mean “Anything Bad That Happened on a Friday”. There are any number of opinions and stories about the origins of the Black Friday phenomenon in the latter half of the 20th and the beginning of the 21st centuries.

Nancy Koehn writes, "In the 1950s, some factory managers referred to the day after Thanksgiving as "black Friday" because so many workers called in sick. The day, noted one industrial magazine, 'was a disease second only to the bubonic plague' in its effect on employees.'"
Koehn, Nancy F. "The History of Black Friday." Marketplace Commentary, American Public Media, November 25, 2011.

The most sources believe that somewhere in the mid 1950s the Philadelphia police began to refer to the last weekend in November as "Black Friday". It didn’t take long for the retailers to chime in.
Verbal history has it that the term for the day after Thanksgiving was coined by the Philadelphia Police Department in 1966--and not as a term of endearment. That day was the official opening of the Christmas shopping season and usually brought massive traffic jams, over-crowded sidewalks, a rash of shoplifting, crowded buses, and general chaos.

Photo Source: https://philadelphiaencyclopedia.org/archive/police-department-philadelphia/
Philadelphia, Black Friday 25, 1966

An article by Laura Rosenfeld suggests the confusion was exacerbated by the annual Army-Navy football game on the last weekend of November. “Philadelphia police officers and retail employees loved Black Friday back then probably as much as they do now, which is probably not at all.” techtimes.com/history-of-black-friday

When Philadelphians got wind of the trend, they didn't like it. [I’ll bet it was the Chamber of Commerce, although no one at all says that. Just my guess.]

Fearing the negative phrase, being connected with large crowds, traffic jams, and petty theft, would discourage shoppers, an attempt to change the term to “Big Friday” didn’t catch on. Instead, “Black Friday” spread quickly to other parts of the United States.

AMERICAN INNOVATION SAVES THE DAY
By the 1970s the term was in use around the US and by the 1980s unrest settled in among small and big merchants alike. Needless to say businesses, malls, Chambers of Commerce, and City Mayors did not like the term at all. But when it comes to making money, we shall overcome.

Innovative business people that we are, someone pointed out that the end of November was the point in the year when retail businesses, which traditionally operated at a loss or “in the red”, began to make profits and operated “in the black.”

Once this strategy was employed and marketed, both merchants and shoppers followed with open arms. Enough generations had passed and no one, thanks to the school system, seemed to remember the original usage came from 19th century financial disasters.

“Black Friday” was embraced by all. Kudos, Wall Street.

Even though it may be touted as the busiest shopping day of the year, marketing studies and Snopes.com show the day after Thanksgiving as being only one of the top six or seven biggest shopping days of the year. Black Friday has only risen to the top of the retail sales revenue pile a few times.

THE NEW NORMAL: What to Expect
Now we face a new dilemma. Covid 19. Big crowds aren’t “in” right now. And American companies are coming up with a different approach to what is still being called Black Friday.

You’re already aware that stores are starting early and offering special sales and holiday deals from October until December 25. But there are some changes to expect.

● Stores Closed on Thanksgiving
Walmart stores and Sam’s Club will be open their normal hours the day before Thanksgiving, but closed Thanksgiving Day. Then open again on Friday, October 27.

Target hosted “Deal Days” mid-October and their lowered prices will probably still be in effect on the day after Thanksgiving. They will also be closed on Thanksgiving.

Home Depot, Macy’s, and other major retailers will also be closed on Thanksgiving Day.

● On-line buying
We are already familiar with on-line buying, but it’s bound to be bigger than ever this year when people don’t want to be out in crowds. With greater volume, you can expect slower speeds and more technical glitches than last year.

● Curbside pickup
Curb-side pickup is here to stay, at least for a while. Miller Kern writes on mashable.com/shopping, “One of the biggest shopping changes to come about during the COVID-19 pandemic is the surge of curbside pickup options. Black Friday will be no different.” Kern also suggests we may be looking at lottery systems in the future where you win or purchase a time slot.

● New Technology Takes Hold
Technology is the future of retail buying and Black Friday. Within a few years we may be looking at QR Code scanning and Virtual reality.

No one knows for sure, but that will happen on November 27, 2020, seems predictable given the virus circumstances.

HANDWRITING ON THE WALL
The year 2020 will set the stage for the future -- and most likely, the demise -- of Black Friday as was practiced during the first decade of the 21st century.

Already the connection between the financial disasters of 1869, 1929, and 1987 and the term Black Friday is weakened. When you use the phrase today, most people will identify it with the mass sales the day after Thanksgiving and chaos Christmas shopping.

Photo source: distractify.com/p/black-friday-fights Image Credit: John Minchillo Photo source : hoskinsandturco.com/blog Photo Source: corporate.target.com/target-shoppers

Sales in store already start much earlier and cover several months before the month of December. On-line shopping had created its own days for sales. It won’t take long before the start of the holiday shopping season is detached from Black Friday or any other specific date.

I predict that within ten years the term will drop into the category of folk lore. At least, it won’t be on the retailer’s banner any more.

Next, it will be malls that become obsolete. As an urban planner, I’ve always felt the planning profession missed the boat by not giving much greater consideration to reuse of malls when they pass their prime. Some will survive, of course, but many won’t. It’s been happening for years now.

I’m a little early for holding a funeral for Black Friday. I’ll be back for that in a few years.
Just Sayin’
□
Resources:
2020
https://mashable.com/shopping/black-friday-2020-future-predictions/
https://www.techradar.com/news/black-friday-deals-2019
https://www.hbs.edu/news/releases/Pages/koehnblackfriday.aspx
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/10/02/black-friday-is-over-heres-why-retailers-are-touting-weeks-of-deals.html
https://www.theblackfriday.com/what-is-black-friday.shtml
https://www.hbs.edu/news/releases/Pages/koehnblackfriday.aspx
https://www.marketplace.org/2011/11/25/history-black-friday/
https://www.crushthestreet.com/articles/precious-metals/black-day-week-started-gold-friday
Photos only:
https://www.hoskinsandturco.com/blog/the-deals-and-dangers-of-black-friday-five-most-insane-injuries/
https://corporate.target.com/press/releases/2014/11/target-shoppers-nationwide-score-doorbusters-as-bl
https://www.distractify.com/p/black-friday-fights
Previously used references:
http://www.techtimes.com/articles/20879/20141125/history-of-black-friday.htm
http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2011/11/25/the-little-known-philadelphia-origins-of-black-friday/
http://www.philly.com/philly/...Black_Friday_started_in_Philly.html%20-
http://en.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Friday_(shopping)wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Friday_(shopping)
http://www.techtimes.com/articles/20879/20141125/history-of-black-friday.htm
http://www.marketplace.org/topics/life/commentary/history-black-friday
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/general-article/grant-black-friday/
http://www.vocabulary.com/articles/wordroutes/the-origins-of-black-friday/
https://blackfriday.com/pages/black-friday-history
http://mentalfloss.com/article/31581/brief-history-black-friday
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/11/black-friday-is-not-the-biggest-shopping-day-of-the-year/
http://www.snopes.com/holidays/thanksgiving/shopping.asp
□

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Being Grateful Is Good For You

11/22/2020

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THE WORST YEAR EVER
The year 2020 hasn’t been one of the best. COVID 19 has made this a unique eleven months.
Many are enduring the deaths of friends and family, loss of jobs, loss of business and savings, loss of mobility, houses lost in fires and natural disasters, pets and wild animals lost in fires, and much more. Many people throughout the world are suffering greatly, and it’s hard for nearly everyone to feel particularly grateful about the year.

There are no words to make it better for those who suffer, but many people around the world have stepped up to the plate and done kind and unselfish things to help others in need. For that, we should all be grateful. There are still many kind and generous people in the world, and we must never forget [WU1] that.
Focusing on the problems and worries does nothing to abate the situation. To lift the spirit a bit, how about focusing on the good things we still have?

“There aren’t any good things,” you say, and it certainly feels that way sometimes, but if you actually start listing them you’ll find quite a few things, material and non-material, you take for granted for which you can be grateful to still have.

WHAT GRATITUDE CAN DO FOR YOU
Professionals cite 40 years of research and studies to back up their claims that gratitude is good for all of us. Some of the reasons include the following:

●Gratitude makes us happier.
● Gratitude puts situations into perspective.
● Gratitude makes us feel more gratitude.
● Gratitude makes you friendlier, helps you make friends, and deepens friendships.
● Gratitude makes people like us.
● Gratitude makes us healthier: It improves your sleep, boosts your energy levels, and makes you more likely
to exercise.
● Gratitude makes us more optimistic.
● Gratitude reduces materialism.
●Gratitude requires humility, being modest and respectful.
●.Gratitude increases self-esteem.
● Gratitude makes us less self-centered.
● Gratitude strengthens our emotions.
● Gratitude develops our personality.
● Gratitude increases spiritualism. All major religions espouse gratitude as a virtue.
● Gratitude improves your health, sleep, and longevity.
● Gratitude helps you relax.
● Gratitude helps your marriage and family relationships.
●.Gratitude helps you bounce back.
● Gratitude makes you feel good.
● Gratitude reduces feelings of envy.
● Gratitude makes our memories happier.
●.Gratitude boosts our career by making you a better worker or manager.
● Gratitude improves your decision making.
● Gratitude increases your goal achievement.
● Gratitiude increase productivity.

This is a whopping big list… and promise, but supposedly it is verifiable research. Unfortunately, the wording, and particularly the verb form, makes it sound like a foregone conclusion these wonderful improvements definitely will occur.

I suppose that choice was made in the interests of being positive, and not a promise. Undoubtedly, some of these improvements will occur in some of the people who achieve a certain level of gratitude.

DO GRATITUDE LISTS WORK?
Liz Brown, writing for goodhousekeeping.com/life/ says writing out all the things she has to be grateful for, which is what most of the above professionals encourage, didn’t work for her.
She tried and, as a result, fell into a deep depression. She believes “Gratitude lists imply that those of us who are in pain are choosing misery and aren’t working hard enough.”

Instead, she wrote an ingratitude list. “My ingratitude lists helped me grieve the things that I'd lost, missed out on, been cheated out of and all the times life had kicked me straight in the heart. I learned that stuffing down anger and sadness with a stack of gratitude lists doesn't make them go away. Writing down the things that made me miserable and furious didn't make them go away either, but it helped me focus on the things in life that I wanted to change because they caused me suffering over and over again. My ingratitude lists gave me direction, focus and helped me move away from shame and toward acceptance and action. My heart still hurts, but I don't scream at myself for being selfish for being sad anymore.

I chucked my gratitude lists in the trash and cheered when I watched the garbage truck lift up the can and watch the stacks of legal pads go flying into the fetid hopper along with the rest of the rot.”

If you are tired of being told to “look on the bright side” and irritated, or furious, with well-intentioned friends and family who tell you that, then this is a good place to stop reading. Being told that someone else has it worse usually isn’t any comfort.

PSYCHOLOGISTS BELIVE IN GRATITUDE LISTS
For the rest of you who believe it helps, which includes many psychologists, go through the following list, compiled from several sources, of things you might be grateful for. [To tell you the truth, some of the things listed wouldn’t ever come to my mind, and I don’t agree with others, but what do I know?]

Don’t focus on the bad, like Brown; turn your attention to the good things. I’m not saying that having a house, an income, or family and friends outweigh the death of a loved one, but looking at the positive side, they may help deal with the other losses.

There are always things we still have that we can be grateful for. Some of them we never think about, but when they are gone, we appreciate them. Many rate the “well, duh!” category, but we wouldn’t want to be without them. The following is comprised of lists taken directly from lifehack.org/thankful-for and thelawofattraction.com/100-things-thankful/ plus a few others and some of my own, and combined. They are grouped loosely but their importance to you is personal. Find those things you can be grateful for.

● Good Health
Even if your health isn’t great, it could be worse and you likely still have some working parts to be thankful for.
● Money in the Bank
Having just a few coins makes you richer than most people on Earth.
● Having a Job or income
Even if you don’t like your job, being employed means someone thought you were special enough to hire. And you are employed and receive a paycheck. Having good co-workers is also a blessing.
● Having a Home
Whether you live in an apartment, a mansion, or a tent, having a place to call home is something to be thankful for.
● Family
Even if your parents were dysfunctional, they gave you life. In the end, what matters most is family, and you have the ability to create your own.
● Having a Partner
Creating a future with someone. Being in a romantic relationship can teach you so much about the world and yourself.
● Having children
Watching children laugh, grow, and dream can keep things in perspective.
● Good Friends
Often, it’s the quality of friendships, not the quantity. The ones you can always count on are priceless.
● Freedom of Religion
Being able to worship whomever and however you want is something many people don’t ever experience.
● Freedom of Speech
Being able to express your thoughts and feelings freely should never be taken for granted.
●. Freedom to Vote
Being able to have a say in the laws should never be taken for granted.
Sleep and a Bed to Sleep In
A bed is one of those things that’s easy to take for granted, until you don’t have one. Fresh bed sheets and duvet are even better. Sleep is another
● Goodnight kisses
● Waking up Today
Simply waking up today means you have things to be thankful for, and each day is a new chance to begin again!
● Bad days that make you appreciate the good ones
● Food on the table
There is nothing like a good home cooked meal.
● Laughter
Without laughter, the world would be a sad place. Uncontrollable laughter is a special experience.
● Safety and Security
Being able to wake up without immense fear frees us up to really live life.
● Electricity
Electricity enables us to have most of the modern conveniences and communication that we have today. They make life much easier and safer.
● Comfortable clothes appropriate for the weather
On a cold day, there’s nothing more important than warm clothing.
● Modern Medicine
Without advances in modern medicine, many of us wouldn’t be alive.
● Living pain-free
● Music
Finding music that moves you and singing your favorite songs brightens the day. Music brings out new emotions.
● Cuddles
● The progression of human rights
● All our senses
● Being able to experience all emotions
● Love
The world sure would be a different place if we lacked the ability to love.
● Eyesight and Being able to see colors
Being able to see allows us to view the world’s beauty.
● Hearing
Being able to hear your loved one’s voice is something that not everyone gets to do.
● An Ability to Learn
The ability to learn new things means we have endless potential.
● Imagination
● Being able to look forward to something
● Being able to set and achieve goals
● Learning from Mistakes
If we never made mistakes, we wouldn’t learn much so it is one of those things we should be thankful for.
●4. Kindness of Strangers
When a stranger smiles at you or shows kindness and courtesy, never take that for granted. Pass it forward.
● Pain
Without pain, it would be difficult to appreciate life’s joys.
● Tears
Sometimes when there are no words to say, tears express how we feel for us.
● Wisdom that Comes with Age
Thankfully, we grow smarter over time.
● Your Mind
Being able to think, remember, and solve problems sure makes life easier.
● The Ability to Dream
● Challenges
Without challenges in life, we wouldn’t be the people we are now
● The ability to help others
● Sincere apologies
● Open minded people
● Strength
Physical and strength of character.
● The generosity of others
● Respect
● Forgiveness
● Teamwork
● Having some time to yourself
● Ability to have and pursue a passion
● Sunshine
The sun’s warmth can brighten any day.
● Time
Although we often don’t think there’s enough of it, time is something we shouldn’t take for granted.
● The seasons changing
● Breathing Fresh Air
Being able to step outside to breathe in fresh air is a good reminder how many little things we should be thankful for.
● Mountains
Mountains provide us with beauty and recreation.
● Rainbows
The beauty of a rainbow is unmatched.
● Sunrises and Sunsets
The rising of the sun and Sunsets are reminders that we should enjoy the simple things in life and there will be tomorrow.
● Moon and Stars
The moon and stars encourage us to dream.
● Diversity
The world would be a boring place without diversity.
● Oceans
The sea creatures in the ocean almost seem too mystical to be real.
● Hiking Trails
● Opportunity to Get an Education
The opportunity to attend school is something many people don’t have.
● An Ability to Read
If you’re reading this right now, you have a lot to be thankful for.
● People Willing to Teach
Whether it’s your grandmother teaching you to knit or your plumber showing you how to prevent future problems, be grateful that others are willing to use their time and talents to teach you something new.
● Books
Books provide an opportunity to enter another world all from the comfort of your own home. You can go anywhere and be anyone if you read books.
● Finding people who bring the best out in you
● Weekends
There’s something magical about weekends and not having an alarm go off.
● Pets
Pets offer one of the best examples of unconditional love. Puppies and kittens have a special place in everyone’s heart.
● Cars
Without cars, it would take a lot longer to get our activities done.
● Clean running water
Many people on earth lack access to clean water.
● Hot showers and feeling clean
● Good Hair Days
● Indoor Plumbing
Indoor plumbing not only provides convenience, it spares us from disease.
● Art
The world would be less beautiful if art didn’t exist.
● Holidays
Any reason to celebrate is something we should be thankful for.
● Cell PhonesCell phones make talking to loved ones easy.
● An Internet Connection
It’s hard to believe how easy it is to take the internet for granted, seeing how none of us had just a couple of decades ago.
● Entrepreneurs and inventors
Some of life’s best inventions resulted from an entrepreneur who was willing to take a risk.
● Grocery Stores
Grocery stores mean we don’t have to spend all of our time getting our own food.
● Entertainment
Entertainment gives us a way to relax and enjoy life.
● Air Conditioning
Staying cool on a hot day is something people wouldn’t have dreamed about in past centuries.
● Armed Forces
Our lives would likely be very different if we didn’t have protection from the armed forces.
● Hearing good news
● Chocolate
● Ice Cream
● Cups of tea
● Coffee
● Fresh countryside walks
● Cameras
They capture amazing memories
● Traditions
Religious, family and others.
● Nice neighbours
● Having deep conversations until the early morning
● Spell checker
● Jumping into a swimming pool in the summer
● Modern Transportation
● Old photographs
● Meeting up with old friends
● Snow days
● A nice bubble bath
● Not having to set an alarm
● Sunday mornings

The most important thing to be grateful for is the fact that you are unique in the world. There is no one else who is exactly like you.

BE GRATEFUL AND PAY IT FORWARD!
You can decide that you are going to be happy and grateful, or not. Tomorrow you are going to begin again. However you celebrate Thanksgiving [or don’t celebrate that particular holiday] be grateful for what you have. It is not a matter of just thinking it, or saying it…live it in your thoughts and actions every day
Just Sayin’
□
Note: Pay it forward is an expression for describing the beneficiary of a good deed repaying the kindness to others instead of to the original benefactor. The concept is old, but the particular phrase may have been coined by Lily Hardy Hammond in her 1916 book In the Garden of Delight.

Resources:
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/60-things-thankful-for-life.html
https://www.thelawofattraction.com/100-things-thankful/
https://www.cbc.ca/kidscbc2/the-feed/5-ways-being-thankful-is-really-good-for-you
https://www.happierhuman.com/benefits-of-gratitude/
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_parents_neglect_to_teach_about_gratitude
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/a45386/gratitude-lists-dont-work/
https://www.unstuck.com/gratitude/

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CAN GOOD THINGS HAPPEN ON FRIDAY the THIRTEENTH?

11/13/2020

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Although superstition dooms Friday the 13th by proclaiming it an unlucky day, almost every article written about the day assures us that, in reality, as many good things happen on those days as bad things. I believe that’s true, but it became very hard for me to verify that statement. Apparently, people have only recently started keeping track of good or positive things that take place.

Of course, the passage of time puts a different slant on incidents and one unlucky event may eventually be seen later as “not that earth shaking” or perhaps even good.

In terms of tracking bad luck episodes, most of the accidents and unlucky occurrences happen to an individual or occur at a personal level. Only a few are of a scale worthy of the 10 p.m. news broadcast, an article Time Magazine, or announcement in an internet Twitterfeed.

HOW MANY FRIDAY 13 ARE THERE?
Friday falls on the 13th day of the month, on the Gregorian calendar, at least one day each year. The maximum times in a year is three. For example, in 2015, Friday the 13th occurred in February, March, and November. In 2017 through 2019 there were two Friday the 13ths each.

This year, 2020, there are two: March 13 and today, November 13. We could certainly stand something good happening today. The years 2021 and 2022 will both have just one occurrence each.

WHERE DID ALL THE GOOD THINGS GO?
While there are very long lists of unfortunate events that occurred on Friday the 13th, the list of positive events is sparse. Here are the incidents I could find on the internet. I’m sure deep research would reveal others.

▼Callisto, 4th moon of Jupiter - mage Source: pinterest.co.uk/563935184559873500/

● 1610 -- Callisto Discovered
On January 13, 1610, Galileo Galilei discovered Callisto, the fourth moon of Jupiter.

● 1789 -- “Nothing Certain but Death and Taxes" Quote
I’m not quite sure this qualifies as a “Good Thing” that happened, although it has proven to be spot on. Friday, November 13, 1789, Benjamin Franklin wrote his famous quote in a letter to Jean-Baptiste Leroy. He was informing the fellow inventor that the US Constitution was completed, and the quote in its entirety reads, "Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in the world nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.”

● 1854 – First US Patent For An Accordion
The first US patent for the accordion was granted on January 13, 1854 to Anthony Faas of Philadelphia.
▼Image Source: theparisreview.org/blog/

●1882 – The Thirteen Club was Founded in
New York
On January 13, 1882, The Thirteen Club was founded Club was founded in New York City at Knickerbocker Cottage at 454 Sixth Avenue -- note that the address adds up to 13 – by Captain William Fowler (1827-1897) who desired to remove the stigma surrounding the number 13.

At the time there was a rule, unwritten, about not having thirteen guests at the dinner table. Members met on the 13th day of the month in room 13 of the Knickerbocker Cottage, a popular watering hole Fowler owned from 1863 to 1883. Before sitting down for a 13-course dinner, members would pass beneath a ladder and a banner reading “Morituri te Salutamus,” Latin for “Those of us who are about to die salute you.” Four former U.S. presidents were members.

● 1923 -- First Scientifically Recognized Dinosaur Eggs Discovered
According to the American Museum of Natural History, Roy Chapman Andrews discovered the first dinosaur eggs at a dig in Mongolia, on July 13, 1923. Scientifically, this was huge for the field of paleontology, confirming that dinosaurs laid eggs —and the Museum was so impressed that Andrews would go on to be the director of the Museum from 1935 to 1942.
Image Credit: Topical Press Agency/Getty Images
Image Source: insider.com/good-things-friday-13th

● 1923 – Dedication of the Hollywoodland Sign
Dedication of the Hollywoodland Sign took place on July 13, 1923. It was to promote a housing development in the Hollywood Hills owned by H.J. Whitley called Hollywoodland. The fifty-foot tall letters on the side of Mount Lee weren’t intended to last more than two years, but instead remained there until 1949, when it was replaced by the iconic Hollywood Sign.

◄ Image Credit: AP Photo/The Bruce Torrence Hollywood Photograph Collection
Image Source: stltoday.com/national/events-friday-the-13

▲ Image Credit: Bettmann/CORBIS
Image Source: smithsonianmag.com/howard-hughes-h-1

● 1935 -- Howard Hughes H-1 Sets World Airspeed Record
Friday the 13th in 1935, the Hughes H-1 Racer set a world airspeed record (567 kph/352 mph). Designed by the legendary Howard Hughes and Richard Palmer, it was the last privately owned aircraft to break the world air- ▲ Image Credit: Getty Images
speed record, and now resides at the National Image Source:
Air and Space Museum. insider.com/good-things-friday-13th

● 1939 - The First Female Flight Instructor Licensed
Evelyn Pinckert Kilgore became the first licensed female flight instructor on October 13, 1939. During World War II, Kilgare-Brier joined the Women Airforce Service Pilots. She was an important figure for women in aviation. She also flew non-combat missions during World War II, and after the war owned and operated her own private airport in San Bernardino, CA.

The aeronautics field continues to be predominantly male, but Ms. Kilgore was one of the first women to challenge and break that barrier.
▲Image Credit: Acme/PhotoQuest/Getty Images
Image Source: insider.com/good-things-friday-13th

[Note: I knew Pinkie personally when I was with the San Bernardino County Planning Department in the 1960s and 1970s. She was a remarkable person and a tough old gal, but I never knew about her being the first female licensed as a flight instructor.]

● 1942 – Plastic Soybean Car Patented
On January 13, 1942 Henry Ford patented a plastic automobile known as the Soybean Car made using soybeans, although some people now claim it was made primarily from hemp. [Since I’d never heard of it, it may never have gone anywhere. LOL]

▲ Image Source: youtube.com/watch?v=kS6e797W4iA

● 1967 – President L.B. Johnson Signs Executive Order
No. 11246
President Lyndon B. Johnson signed an executive order preventing gender discrimination in the government on October 13, 1967. Executive Order No. 11246 amended Executive Order No. 11246.

Image Credit: Bettmann/Getty Images ►
Image Source:insider.com/good-things-friday-13th

● 1974 – Malta becomes a Republic
The tiny Mediterranean country of Malta first became independent in 1964, but officially became a republic on December 13, 1974. Even though it's small, Malta is an underrated place to visit.

● 1985 -- Super Mario Bros. Released
Nintendo’s Mario is one of the most recognizable characters in pop culture. "Super Mario Bros.," one of the most iconic video games in history, was released on September 13, 1985 – exclusively in Japan. Since then, Mario has been in approximately 170 games, including wildly successful spin-offs like "Mario Kart," "Mario Party," and "Paper Mario." ▲Valletta, the capital of Malta
Image credit: Zoltan Gabor/Shutterstock
Image Source:insider.com/good-things-friday-13th

● 1986 -- The Olsen Twins Were Born
The Olsen twins were born on June 13, 1986. The twins got their start on TV’s "Full House," and from there created an empire of books, videos, perfume, clothing lines, and more.
There are quite a few celebrities born on Friday the 13th including Actor Steve Buscemi, director Alfred Hitchcock. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Peter Tork, Frances Conroy, Didi Conn, Beau Mirchoff. Tony Dow, Max Weinberg, Christopher
The twins in 2015. ▲ Plummer, and many others.
Image Credit: Larry Busacca/Getty Images
Image Source: insider.com/good-things-friday-13th

● 1995 -- Finland’s Established Accident Day
Finland designated Friday the 13th as Accident Day in 1995, with the aim of raising awareness for workplace and road safety. It’s a clever idea to use the superstitious day as an opportunity to be extra vigilant.
Plus, because of its capital’s airport code and a particular daily flight demarcation, Finland also offers a Flight 666 to HEL every Friday the 13th. That means Helsinki, I presume.

● 2004 – The Olympic Games Return To Their Birthplace
The 2004 Summer Olympics were held in Athens, Greece, the country where they first started— both in ancient and modern times. The opening ceremony took place on August 13.

At the time, it was the largest Olympic Games, with 201 countries participating. Michael Phelps also won his first Olympic medal in Athens, and broke his first record. ▲ Australia's Robert Newbery practices diving.
Image Credit: Itsuo Inouye/AP Images -- Image Source: insider.com/good-things-friday-13th

● 2009 – Announcement Of Finding Water On The Moon
Project scientist Anthony Colaprete made the announcement on November 13, 2009, that NASA had found a "significant amount" of water on the moon, around a dozen two-gallon bucketfuls.
Image Credit: Image Source: Matt Cardy/Getty Images ►
Image Source: insider.com/good-things-friday-13th

TAKE AWAY
I have to believe that many more important and positive events have taken place on Fridays the 13th, but there is a pittance of references. I checked March 13, 2020, hoping that something good might have happened this year, but it all falls in the “bad” category. We have to put our hopes into today, November 13.

JUST SAYIN’
□
Resources
https://www.stltoday.com/news/national/events-that-took-place-on-friday-the-th/collection_0eaa62c9-86f4-5a2b-abe9-0a9cfd05d957.html
https://www.insider.com/good-things-friday-the-13th-2018-1
https://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/2015/0313/Eight-surprisingly-good-things-that-happened-on-Friday-the-13th
https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2015/03/13/morituri-te-salutamus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS6e797W4iA

0 Comments

THE RULE OF THREE

11/6/2020

0 Comments

GRANDMA MYTH-BUSTER RIDES AGAIN
Every time I see a particular TV commercial about automobile X, when the announcer says “The Rule of Three says things are better when they come in threes…”, I wonder if there is a Rule of Three and if so, does it make that statement? I decided to find out.

THE RULE OF THREE: NO WHERE TO BE FOUND
I searched the internet diligently [well, at least a lot], and THE general Rule of Three was not to be found. Nope, not there… at least not by that name. Oh, there are plenty of Rules of Three, but they refer directly to a specific topic, none of which claim that things are better when they come in threes.

There is a Latin phrase "omne trium perfectum" which translates to “everything that comes in threes is perfect” or to “every set of three is complete.” As best I can tell, the original quote was used in reference to the art of oratory, but no doubt it is the source of The Rule of Three.

Rats! The automobile advertisement is vindicated.

THE NUMBER THREE
The number three, however, has a long history of popularity all over the world. The origins of this esteem are unknown with any certainty, but the number seems to pop up in every culture and in nature.

RELIGION

Christianity
Three symbolizes the Holy trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In addition, the three attributes of God are omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence. Biblically, the number three represents divine wholeness, completeness and perfection. The number seven also holds some lesser importance in Christianity.

Buddhism
Three symbolizes The Triple Gem or The Three Jewels: Buddah, the Enlightened One; Dhamma, the Teachings, and Sangha, the Community of Followers

Hindu
Three symbolizes creation, destruction, and preservation

Jewish
The number three was the symbol of holiness. The Holy of Holies occupied one-third, and the Holy Place two-thirds, of the entire Temple. The tapestries were ten times three ells in length, and there were three vessels each for the altar of burnt offering, the altar of incense, and the Ark. The candlestick had twice three arms (besides the shaft, which also held a lamp), and each arm had three knobs. The blessing of the priest consisted of three sections, and in the invocation of God, the word “holy” was repeated thrice.
Also, three signifies male, female, and uniting intelligence.

Taoisim
Three is the Great Triad: Heaven, Human, and Earth.

Muslim
The significant number in the Muslim religion is seven, not three.

CULTURES
▪ Chinese
The Chinese believe three is the perfect number.

▪ Mayan
The Mayan culture believed three was the sacred number of women.

▪ Egyptian
Egyptians revered three as the number of the cosmos.

▪ Japan
In Japan three stands for three treasures: truth, courage, and compassion.

POWERFUL IDEAS
The Rule of Three has also been used to encapsulate some of history’s most powerful ideas. For example:

▪ “Veni, vidi, vici.” (“I came, I saw, I conquered”) ~ Julius Caesar.

▪ “Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité.“ (“Liberty. Equality. Fraternity.”) ~ The national motto of France.

▪ “Citius, Altius, Fortius.” (Swifter, higher, stronger”) ~ The Olympic motto

▪ “Location, location, location.”~ Harold Samuel.

▪ “Education, education, education.” ~ Tony Blair.

▪ Body, mind, and spirit

▪ Faith, hope, and charity

▪ Thought, word, and deed

▪ Animal, vegetable, and mineral

▪ The three primary colors combine to make all other colors.

RULES OF THREE
These are not all the rules of three that pertain to specific topics, but you’ll get the idea.

Writing
The rule of three is writing principle that suggests that a trio of events or characters is more humorous, satisfying, or effective than other numbers.

Communication, Oratory, and Presentation
Choose three main points, no matter how long your presenting slot is. If you’re there to talk about a weighty subject, break each of your key three issues into three sub-parts. Your audience will be able to follow so much more easily.

Survival
Each of the following assumes that the one(s) before it are met:
▪ You can survive three minutes without breathable air (unconsciousness occurs), or in icy water.
▪ You can survive three hours in a harsh environment (extreme heat or cold).
▪ You can survive three days without drinkable water.
▪ You can survive three weeks without food.
Here it is not so much three rules as rules which revolve around the number three so they are easy to remember (but are only generally accurate scientifically).

Comedy
Sometimes called trebling, the Rule of Three is a pattern used in stories and jokes, where part of the story is told three times, with minor variations. The first two instances build tension, and the third releases it by incorporating a twist.

Physics
Newton’s three rules of motion.
▪Every object in a state of uniform motion will remain in that state of motion unless an external force acts on it.
▪Force equals mass times acceleration [ f (t) = m a (t)]
▪For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Business and Economics
The rule of three in business and economics is a rule of thumb suggesting that there are always three major competitors in any free market within any one industry.

Music
Musical triads are the three-note building blocks of musical harmony.

Aviation
The Aviation rule of three: "3:1 rule of descent" is that 3 nautical miles (5.6 km) of travel should be allowed for every 1,000 feet (300 m) of descent.

Graphic Design, Art, and Photography
”The rule of thirds simply states that if you take a canvas and divide it into three equally sized horizontal sections and three equally sized vertical sections, the resulting grid provides a sort of roadmap that helps you choose where to place your design elements.” companyfolders.com/blog/rule-of-thirds

Dramatic Conflicts
internal, relational and external. This could also encompass the three-act structure of beginning, middle, and end.

PATTERNS
Humans brains can only hold a few pieces of information in short-term (active) memory. Harvard Professor George Miller, author of “The Magical Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two” claimed that humans have a hard time retaining more than seven to nine digits in short-term memory. More contemporary science has lowered that number to three or four pieces of information the working memory can pay attention to and manipulate.

Why three?

Dr. Steve Dayan, in Modern Aesthetics.com, states “The neuro-psychological conventional wisdoms support that information absorbed within a pattern is less taxing on the brain. The neural circuits don't have to work as hard to retain the learned material. Less thinking, less energy, and less Adenosine Triphosphate (ATP) is expended.”

Three is fewer than four. Since all living species tend to follow the path of least resistance, conserving energy whenever possible, the brain remembers three more easily than four. I guess our brains are either very lazy or very smart or both. Regardless, it pays attention to patterns of three. Four, not so much.

TAKE AWAY
Memory favors the path of lease resistance. Stick with three.

Just sayin’
□
Resources
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_three_(statistics)
https://www.wired.com/2014/05/physicists-rule-of-threes-efimov-trimers/#:~:text=Rule%20of%20Threes-,Efimov%20trimers%20are%20states%20of%20matter%20that%20theoretically,an%20infinite%20range%20of%20sizes.&text=The%20so%2Dcalled%20Efimov%20%E2%80%9Ctrimer,t
https://www.bookofthrees.com/the-rule-of-three-in-mathematics/#:~:text=The%20Rule%20of%20Three%20is,can%20calculate%20the%20unknown%20number.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfThree
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_three_(writing)#:~:text=The%20rule%20of%20three%20is,or%20effective%20than%20other%20numbers.&text=The%20Latin%20phrase%20%22omne%20trium,as%20the%20rule%20of%20three.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_threes_(survival)#:~:text=Normally%2C%20the%20rule%20of%20threes,(extreme%20heat%20or%20cold).
https://www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2012/07/02/thomas-jefferson-steve-jobs-and-the-rule-of-3/#8616fdd19622
https://www.companyfolders.com/blog/rule-of-thirds-graphic-design#:~:text=The%20rule%20of%20thirds%20simply,to%20place%20your%20design%20elements
https://www.presentationmagazine.com/presentation-skills-3-the-rule-of-three-7283.htm#:~:text=Structure%20your%20presentation%20around%20threes,to%20easily%20remember%20three%20things.
https://best3minutes.com/the-power-of-three/#:~:text=When%20Cicero%20was%20perfecting%20the,%2C%20and%20of%20the%20people.%E2%80%9D
https://modernaesthetics.com/articles/2019-july-aug/omne-trium-perfectum#:~:text=In%20Kabbala%20philosophy%20the%20number,that%20is%20three%20is%20perfect.
http://s-wadsworth.cengage.com/religion_d/templates/stripped_features/symbols/islamic.html
https://www.mathwarehouse.com/geometry/triangles/triangle-inequality-theorem-rule-explained.php#:~:text=The%20Triangle%20Inequality%20Theorem%20states,3%20conditions%20of%20the%20sides.
https://rule-of-three.co.uk/what-is-the-rule-of-three-copywriting/
https://www.tinablake.com/speechwriting-the-rule-of-three/
https://www.shawlministry.com/significance_of_three.htm
https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/608781/jewish/On-the-Meaning-of-Three.htm
https://www.livescience.com/2493-mind-limit-4.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYd1sWEebQY
http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/2017/07/the-comedy-rule-of-3s.html
https://www.presentationmagazine.com/rule-of-three-836.htm

0 Comments

THE RULE of THREE

11/6/2020

0 Comments

GRANDMA MYTH-BUSTER RIDES AGAIN
Every time I see a particular TV commercial about automobile X, when the announcer says, “The Rule of Three says things are better when they come in threes…”, I wonder if there is a Rule of Three and if so, does it say that. I decided to find out.

THE RULE OF THREE: NO WHERE TO BE FOUND
I searched the internet diligently [well, at least a lot], and THE general Rule of Three was not to be found. Nope, not there… at least not by that name. Oh, there are plenty of Rules of Three, but they refer directly to a specific topic, none of which claim that things are better when they come in threes. Close, maybe, but not in those words.

There is a Latin phrase "omne trium perfectum" which translates to “everything that comes in threes is perfect” or to “every set of three is complete.” As best I can tell, the original quote was used in reference to the art of oratory, but no doubt it is the source of The Rule of Three.

Rats! The automobile advertisement is vindicated

Christian
Three symbolizes the Holy trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In addition, the three attributes of God are omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence. Biblically, the number three represents divine wholeness, completeness and perfection. The number seven also holds some lesser importance in Christianity.

Jewish
The number three was the symbol of holiness. The Holy of Holies occupied one-third, and the Holy Place two-thirds, of the entire Temple. The tapestries were ten times three ells in length, and there were three vessels each for the altar of burnt offering, the altar of incense, and the Ark. The candlestick had twice three arms (besides the shaft, which also held a lamp), and each arm had three knobs. The blessing of the priest consisted of three sections, and in the invocation of God, the word “holy” was repeated thrice. Also, three signifies male, female, and uniting intelligence.

Muslim
The significant number in the Muslim religion is seven, not three.

Taoisim
Three is the Great Triad: Heaven, Human, and Earth.

Buddhism
Three symbolizes The Triple Gem or The Three Jewels: Buddah, the Enlightened One; Dhamma, the Teachings, and Sangha, the Community of Followers

Hindu
Three symbolizes creation, destruction, and preservation.

Cultures

Chinese
The Chinese believe three is the perfect number.

Mayan
The Mayan culture believed three was the sacred number of women.

Egyptian
Egyptians revered three as the number of the cosmos.

Japan
In Japan three stands for three treasures: truth, courage, and compassion.

Powerful Ideas
The Rule of Three has also been used to encapsulate some of history’s most powerful ideas. For example:

“Veni, vidi, vici.” (“I came, I saw, I conquered”) ~ Julius Caesar.

“Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité.“ (“Liberty. Equality. Fraternity.”) ~ The national motto of France.

“Citius, Altius, Fortius.” (Swifter, higher, stronger”) ~ The Olympic motto

“Location, location, location.” ~ Harold Samuel.

Body, mind, and spirit

Faith, hope, and charity

Thought, word, and deed

The three primary colors combine to make all other colors.

RULES OF THREE
As mentioned, there are many of these sets of rules of thumb, so to speak. The following are not all the sets of rules, but they are the most well known. You’ll get the idea.

Writing
The rule of three is a writing principle that suggests that a trio of events or characters is more humorous, satisfying, or effective than other numbers.

Physics
Newton’s three rules of motion

Music
Musical triads are the three-note building blocks of musical harmony.

Aviation
The Aviation rule of three: "3:1 rule of descent" is that 3 nautical miles (5.6 km) of travel should be allowed for every 1,000 feet (300 m) of descent.

Mathematics
The Rule of Three is a Mathematical Rule that allows you to solve problems based on proportions. By having three numbers: a, b, c, such that, ( a / b = c / x), (i.e., a: b :: c: x ) you can calculate the unknown number.bookofthrees.com/rule-of-three-mathematics

PATTERNS
It's that darn Human brain again! Our brains can only hold a few pieces of information in short-term (active) memory. Harvard Professor George Miller, author of “The Magical Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two” claimed that humans have a hard time retaining more than seven to nine digits in short-term memory. More contemporary science has lowered that number to three or four pieces of information the working memory can pay attention to and manipulate. Then why three?

Dr. Steve Dayan, in Modern Aesthetics.com, states “The neuro-psychological conventional wisdom supports that information absorbed within a pattern is less taxing on the brain. The neural circuits don't have to work as hard to retain the learned material. Less thinking, less energy, and less Adenosine Triphosphate (ATP) is expended.” Three is fewer than four.

Since all living species tend to follow the path of least resistance, conserving energy whenever possible, the brain remembers three more easily than four. I guess our brains are either very lazy or very smart or both. Regardless, it pays attention to patterns of three. Four, not so much.

TAKE AWAY
Stick with three. Just sayin’
□

Resources
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_three_(statistics)
https://www.wired.com/2014/05/physicists-rule-of-threes-efimov-trimers/#:~:text=Rule%20of%20Threes-,Efimov%20trimers%20are%20states%20of%20matter%20that%20theoretically,an%20infinite%20range%20of%20sizes.&text=The%20so%2Dcalled%20Efimov%20%E2%80%9Ctrimer,t
https://www.bookofthrees.com/the-rule-of-three-in-mathematics/#:~:text=The%20Rule%20of%20Three%20is,can%20calculate%20the%20unknown%20number.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfThree
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_three_(writing)#:~:text=The%20rule%20of%20three%20is,or%20effective%20than%20other%20numbers.&text=The%20Latin%20phrase%20%22omne%20trium,as%20the%20rule%20of%20three.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_threes_(survival)#:~:text=Normally%2C%20the%20rule%20of%20threes,(extreme%20heat%20or%20cold).
https://www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2012/07/02/thomas-jefferson-steve-jobs-and-the-rule-of-3/#8616fdd19622
https://www.companyfolders.com/blog/rule-of-thirds-graphic-design#:~:text=The%20rule%20of%20thirds%20simply,to%20place%20your%20design%20elements
https://www.presentationmagazine.com/presentation-skills-3-the-rule-of-three-7283.htm#:~:text=Structure%20your%20presentation%20around%20threes,to%20easily%20remember%20three%20things.
https://best3minutes.com/the-power-of-three/#:~:text=When%20Cicero%20was%20perfecting%20the,%2C%20and%20of%20the%20people.%E2%80%9D
https://modernaesthetics.com/articles/2019-july-aug/omne-trium-perfectum#:~:text=In%20Kabbala%20philosophy%20the%20number,that%20is%20three%20is%20perfect.
http://s-wadsworth.cengage.com/religion_d/templates/stripped_features/symbols/islamic.html
https://www.mathwarehouse.com/geometry/triangles/triangle-inequality-theorem-rule-explained.php#:~:text=The%20Triangle%20Inequality%20Theorem%20states,3%20conditions%20of%20the%20sides.
https://rule-of-three.co.uk/what-is-the-rule-of-three-copywriting/
https://www.tinablake.com/speechwriting-the-rule-of-three/
https://www.shawlministry.com/significance_of_three.htm
https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/608781/jewish/On-the-Meaning-of-Three.htm
https://www.livescience.com/2493-mind-limit-4.html

0 Comments

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES TRENDING in 2020

10/30/2020

0 Comments

In 2020, if someone dresses up in a Halloween costume at all this year, there are tons of premade costumes to choose from representing every character from movies, TV, and comic books, whatever. Kids today shun the homemade costumes like we had when I was a kid, which was at least a hundred and fifty years ago.

ORIGINS OF HALLOWEEN COSTUMES
Most historians suggest the custom of dressing up for Halloween originated with the Celtic festivals Samhain and Calan Gaeaf and, in the 9th century when Christianity spread, from the practice of “souling” during the observance of Allhallowtide.

By now, it’s common knowledge. What I didn’t realize was is that Samhain is now believed to predate the arrival of the first Celts in Ireland about 2,500 years ago. Two hills in the Boyne Valley associated with the Samhain Great Fire Festival and the Mound of Hostages have entrance passages to the mounds which has been dated at 4,500 to 5,000 years old.
Hills of Tara ▼
Image Source: mythicalireland.com/hill-of-tara ▼ Image Source: tripadvisor.com/LocationPhotoDirectLink

That doesn’t mean that dressing in costume goes back that far. Just an interesting factoid.

The Celts believed that during the festival of Samhain, the world of the gods became visible to humans, resulting in supernatural mischief. Some people offered treats and food to the gods, while other wore disguises -- such as animal skins and heads -- so that wandering spirits might mistake them for one of their own.

Humming while wearing costumes is also associated with other festivals, particularly Christmas. The wearing of costumes while “humming”,”mumming”, or “guising” was intended to blend in with the spirits of Aos SI, Spirits of the Otherworld, which were on earth at that time. It was thought that by dressing up, one would fool the spirits into thinking you were one of them and would therefore be protected. [Like they couldn’t tell? It’s like Superman putting on a suit and glasses and becoming Clark Kent, and no one can recognize him. Yeah, right.]

In addition to humming and mumming, people would put out bowls of food in front of their houses to appease the ghosts and prevent them from attempting to enter.

At that time the costumes would have been based on the frightening supernatural and folklore beings they wanted to be protected from. Witches, goblins, and the like, I presume.

The first written references to costumes on All Hallows Eve comes from Scotland in 1585 and, apparently, the tradition continues through the 18th
and 19th centuries in the Celtic countries of Scotland, Ireland, Mann and Wales.

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES IN AMERICA
Large numbers of Scottish and Irish immigrated to America in the 18th century, bringing with them the Halloween customs, traditions, and costumes. The costume and Trick-or-Treat practice spread, each culture putting their own slant on the rituals based on their own festivals and beliefs.

By the 1930s, most costumes were worn by children and teens, and the disguises became based on characters from radio and movies. Costumes were being mass produced particularly those modeled after beloved cartoons, thanks to new licensing deals with Walt Disney. People still made their own costumes out of whatever they had available.

At Chicago Art Institute's Halloween Ball, 1949
Image Credit: Robert Natkin/Getty Images
Image Source: history.com/topics/halloween

Superhero costumes were first popularized in the 1960s and remain one of the most-worn choices.

By the 1990s women reverted back to making costumes at home to replicate as because longed to dress like their favorite singers, actresses and musical groups. Couples costumes based on movie or TV characters became popular with everyone.

▲Image Source: amazon.com/Batman-Classic-Heritage-Costume

TRENDING
As Americans often do, we have turned our enthusiasm for Halloween costumes into a profitable business. No more of this homemade stuff.

In 2017, Americans spent $9.1 billion on Halloween and $3.4 billion on costumes. That’s a chunk of change. In 2020, that may drop some, but we’re quite innovative when it comes to spending money. In 2019, Americans spend almost half a billion [$490 million] on costumes for their pets, a particular favorite for millennials. Dressing like your pet has been a big trend since 2018.

Here are some extreme examples of men’s 2020 costumes. There were many more traditional costumes available but I chose some of the bizarre ones. Do men really wear these?

Would You Allow Your Husband or Significant Other in Public Wearing This? ▼

Would You Subject Your Pet To This Humiliation? ▼
Image source: Image source: Image source: Image Source:
dogtime.com/dog-health/ moochmoochpets.wordpress.com/ time.com/sexy-halloween-dogs/ popsugar.com/smart-living/

Owners And Pets
This category of partner costumes is actually cute and innovative.

ImageCredit: Valdya Baraputri/BU News Service - Image Source:
bunewsservice.com/photos-halloween

▲Image Source: facebook.com/ellentv/ ▼ Image Source: wideopenpets.com/human-dog ▲Source of Images: facebook.com/ellentv/ ▲

HOWEVER YOU DRESS and HOWEVER YOU CELEBRATE, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
□
Resources:
https://www.boredpanda.com/halloween-dog-costumes/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
https://www.wideopenpets.com/best-human-and-dog-halloween-costumes/
https://www.amazon.com/Batman-Classic-Heritage-Costume-Halloween/dp/B00QYX55UC
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3274882/Halloween-ages-spooky-masks-1900s-Kim-Kardashian-breaks-internet-outfits-2015-costume-trends-evolved-past-115-years.html
https://www.newgrange.com/samhain.htm
https://www.bestproducts.com/lifestyle/news/g1771/top-trending-halloween-costumes/
https://www.ibtimes.com/halloween-history-roman-christian-influences-857025
https://celticruins.blogspot.com/2014/05/samhain-celtic-origins-of-halloween.html
https://oghamart.com/blogs/news/samhain-halloween-celtic-roots
https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/history-of-halloween#:~:text=The%20tradition%20originated%20with%20the,costumes%20to%20ward%20off%20ghosts.&text=Over%20time%2C%20Halloween%20evolved%20into,donning%20costumes%20and%20eating%20treats.
https://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/DIY-Costumes-Men-35669263
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween_costume
https://www.cnn.com/style/article/history-of-halloween-costumes/index.html
https://mythicalireland.com/ancient-sites/the-hill-of-tara-teamhair/
Photographs Only
https://culturacolectiva.com/lifestyle/cool-cute-dog-human-matching-halloween-costumes
https://moochmoochpets.wordpress.com/2015/10/16/halloween-pet-costumes/
https://www.facebook.com/ellentv/photos/they-say-dogs-and-owners-tend-to-look-alike/10151247545722240/
https://www.goldenacresdogs.com/matching-dogs-and-owners.htmlhttps:/www.goldenacresdogs.com/matching-dogs-and-owners.html
https://bunewsservice.com/photos-halloween-pet-parade-and-costume-contest/
https://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/DIY-Costumes-Men-35669263
https://dogtime.com/dog-health/general/18627-30-awesome-dog-and-cat-halloween-costumes
https://moochmoochpets.wordpress.com/2015/10/16/halloween-pet-costumes/

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NOTE: This post was scheduled for a later date, but it showed up here and i can’t change it. For today’s post, go to end of this.

10/23/2020

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This series on wedding gown styles began a few years ago when I needed to research them for one of my favorite characters, Harriet Ruby. It was fun, and I’ve written an updated blog every year since, focusing on either spring or fall styles. I have no idea if anyone is interested, except the winner of the worst gown, or at least the gown in poorest taste to wear to a real wedding, always get a lot of hits.

Never a fan of haute couture, I have long believed fashion designers are men who hate women and have found a way to make them suffer perpetually for whatever ill they caused. As a result, I find some of the fashion designers have taken this idea to heart in some of their designs, although now there are many women designers who have jumped on the bandwagon. Who knows what their problem is.

TRENDS for the 2021 SEASON
COVID 19 may have sent the wedding industry into to tizzy, along with the rest of the world, but it has done little to change the styles of wedding gowns. The usual standard are still there with seasonal trends that bring interesting new twists or unusual uses of the styles and accessories that have been around for years.
According to Brides.com, Harpers Bazaar, Vogue and others, the fall trends include the following. Rather than comment on the styles, I’m merely showing photos of the represented trends. You can decide which one you think are good design ideas, those that make a woman look hideous, or maybe neither.

NAKED BACKS

◄Dress by Berta
Image Credit: Heather Waraksa
Image Source: brides.com/fall-2020-wedding-dress
Where is the rest of the dress?

Dress by Wanda Borges ►
Image Source: boards.weddingbee.com/

SUPER HIGH SLITS

▲Dress by Berta ▲ Dress by Eisen-Stein ▲ Dress by Danielle Frankel
Image Credits: Mike Colón Courtesy Of Eisen-Stein   Image Source: harpersbazaar.com/wedding
  Source of Images: brides.com/fall-2020-wedding-dress

LINGERIE INSPIRED CORSETS

▲Dress by Louis Vuitton Cruise 2020 ▲ Jumpsuit by Hayley Paige ▲Dress By Lihi Hod
Image Source: harpersbazaar.com/wedding Source of Images: brides.com/fall-2020-trends

OFF-THE-SHOULDER WITH PUFF SLEEVES AND WITHOUT

▲Dress by Monique Lhuillier ▲Dress by Halfpenny London ▲Dress by Danielle Frankel
Image Credit: Heather Waraksa Image credit /Source: halfpennylondon.com/ Image Credit: Net-A-Porter
Image Source: brides.com/2020-trends ImageSource: brides.com/unique-wedding-dresses

PANTS SUITS AND JUMPSUITS

◄Pants Suit by Roland Mouret
Image Source: harpersbazaar.com/wedding

Jumpsuit by Francesca Miranda ► Image Courtesy Of Francesca Miranda
Image Source: brides.com/unique-wedding

BLACK AND WHITE

▲Dress by Ralph & Russo ▲Dress by Carolina Herrera ▲Dress by Louis Vuitton
Source of Images: harpersbazaar.com/wedding

BUFF IS THE NEW BLUSH

◄ Dress by Monique Lhuillier

The model attracted my attention, not so much the dress.

Dress by Lein ►

Sources of Images: harpersbazaar.com/wedding/bridal

WHEN SOMETHING BLUE IS THE DRESS

▲Dress by Zuhair Murad ▲Dress By Alexander McQueen ▲Dress by Monique Lhuillier
Image Source: brides.com/unique-wedding-dresses Sources of Images: harpersbazaar.com/wedding

TIERS AND LAYERS

▲Dress by Viktor & Rolf Mariage ▲Dress by Honor ▲Dress by Oscar de la Renta ▲Dress by Naeem Khan Jaffa
Source of Images: Image Source: brides.com/unique-wedding-dresses

NEW WAYS TO WEAR LACE

▲Dress by Naeem Khan ▲Dress by Giambattista Valli ▲Dress by Alexander McQueen
Sources of Images: harpersbazaar.com/wedding

THE NAKED LOOK… BUT NOT REALLY

▲Dress by Maison Francesco Scognamiglio ▲Dress by Zuhair Murad ▲Dress by Costarellos Bridal
Source of Images: harpersbazaar.com/wedding

FROTHY

▲Dress By Oscar de la Renta ▲Dress by Valentino ▲Dress By Giambattista Valli
Source of Images: harpersbazaar.com/wedding Image source: refinery29.com/giambattista-valli

FEATHERS

◄Dress By Naeem Khan

Dress by Zuhair Murad ►

Source of Images: harpersbazaar.com/wedding

YOU BE THE JUDGE
Good design ideas? Bad design ideas? Good ideas gone wonky in the execution. Whatever. It’s all a matter of preference.

Just Sayin’
□

Resources:
https://www.brides.com/wedding-masks-4845094
https://www.brides.com/unique-wedding-dresses-5076967
https://www.brides.com/fall-2020-wedding-dress-trends-4772427
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/wedding/bridal-fashion/g28763422/wedding-dress-trends-2020/
https://www.theweddingbrigade.com/blog/bride-customized-mask-wedding-covid/
https://www.arabiaweddings.com/tips/egyptian-fashion-designer-releases-bridal-face-mask
https://www.scmp.com/lifestyle/fashion-beauty/article/3076482/coronavirus-wedding-mask-matching-white-no-guests-beyondhttps:/www.scmp.com/lifestyle/fashion-beauty/article/3076482/coronavirus-wedding-mask-matching-white-no-guests-beyond
https://flipboard.com/topic/fabric/say-i-do-to-these-15-face-masks-cute-enough-to-wear-on-your-wedding-day/a-JF35ScxXSL2I17JRNmFwfw%3Aa%3A34092997-ae6242d2b3%2Felitedaily.com
https://wtop.com/life-style/2020/08/no-masks-no-distance-pandemic-wedding-horrors-for-vendors/
https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2020/07/9901618/giambattista-valli-fall-2020-couture-collection
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/08/fashion/weddings/fashion-forward-bridal-masks-for-your-walk-down-the-aisle.html
https://www.loveyouwedding.com/cute-face-masks-for-weddings/
https://www.swlondoner.co.uk/news/10082020-twickenham-designer-switches-from-wedding-dresses-to-face-masks-in-lockdown/
https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/bridesmaid-for-hire-shares-how-coronavirus-pandemic-may-change-wedding-industry-forever
https://www.brides.com/bridal-fashion-week-4692014
https://www.vogue.com/article/spring-2020-bridal-fashion-week-trends
https://www.vogue.com/fashion-shows/bridal-fall-2020
https://www.vogue.com/article/fall-2020-bridal-report-trends

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Are You Left-Brained, Right-Brained, or Lame-Brained?

10/23/2020

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GRANDMA MYTHBUSTER RIDES AGAIN
While researching another topic, I ran into articles about the left and right hemispheres of the brain … and I was shocked!

Facts that I had learned in school have proven not to be true. Can you believe it?

I rushed to the nearest phone booth, jumped inside, and slipped into my Grandma Mythbuster slenderizing suit and cape and was on my way, convinced that the so-called-scientist who wrote the article must be wrong. It’s just some dingbat theory.

Alas, I must inform you that it was I who erred and pass on myth-buster revelation to others so I can spoil their day just in case they have been as much out of touch with cognitive psychology as I have been.

FACTS ABOUT THE BRAIN
●Fact
The mass of human brain [approximately 3 pounds] is divided into two hemispheres – left and right – by the medial longitudinal fissure and connected by the corpus callosum, composed of bundles of nerve fibers, creating an information highway for neural messages. The hemispheres appear to be similar in size, but the difference in their composition of neuronal networks allows for specialized function that is different in each hemisphere.[skyword.com/left-brain-right-brain-myth]
The brain contains about 100 billion neurons and 100 trillion connections. Your brain is command central of all you think, feel, and do.

Certain cognitive functions are dominated by one side or the other. Scientists continue to explore why and how these neural functions are lateralized.

By Chickensaresocute - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=26371690
Image Source: wikipedia.org/wiki/Lateralization_of_brain

HUMANS HAVE A DOMINANT SIDE OF THE BRAIN
● Myth
The popular theory that each person’s brain had a dominant side, was taught in school, apparently, when I was young – which has to be at least a hundred and fifty years ago. I learned that a person was either right-brained or left-brained. Given the popularity of the idea of "right-brained" and "left-brained" thinkers, it might surprise you learn that this idea is just one of many myths about the brain. [No mention of the lame-brained which I know to be a fact, although an unscientific one].

This concept of left-brained and right-brained has been around for a while. Some writers claim is it more than 200 years old; others that it originated with the work of Roger W. Sperry, who was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine in1981. [I doubt he was 200 years old at the time].

No doubt the individual preference of humans to use the right hand or, among some to use the left, was noticed early in human development. This may have contributed to the idea it was bad to be left handed and became associated with other values.

The left-brain/right-brain myth grew into the common belief that your dominant personality traits are related to which side of your brain has more control. Supposedly, left-brained people are more logical, while right-brained people are more creative.

●Fact
The right and left hemispheres of the brain control different functions, but this fact doesn’t relate to personality.
“Both creative and analytical thought activate both hemispheres equally. Some specific discrete tasks are lateralized, but during complex cognitive processes both hemispheres are involved and communicate. Lefties and righties alike use both hemispheres of their brains equally.” [biomedicalodyssey.blogs.hopkinsmedicine.org/]

Analytical and creative functions, emotional and reasonable; these co-exist in all of us, which is the reason humans exhibit a wide range of human behavior. You receive input from both sides of the brain no matter what you are doing.

CEREBRAL ASYMMETRY
The right cerebral hemisphere receives sensory input from and directs movement on the left side of the body, while the left side takes input and controls corresponding functions for the right side. This is most observable in handedness. Most of us [about ninety percent] are right-handed and have better control over movements with the right hand. Then rest [ten percent] have more control over the left hand or are ambidextrous. [dana.org/article/right-brain-left]

This kind of handedness is not exclusive to humans. Sixty-five percent of chimpanzees use the right hand for demanding tasks, for example, and ninety percent of parrots pick up objects with the left foot. [That’s something else you really needed to know, right?]

Differences in the left and right brain hemisphere function exist in:
Emotion
Emotions are expressed and recognized by the right-brain function in humans and also non-human primates.

Spoken Language
Spoken language is more left-brain active than the right. In most people, the two main language areas, known as Broca’s area and Wernicke’s area, are found in the left hemisphere.

Sign language
Visually based languages are also the domain of the left brain. People who are deaf show speech-like brain activity when watching sign language.

Handedness
Left-handed people use their right-brain for manual tasks. Right-handed people use the left hand for manual tasks. Handedness is inbuilt, and it can even be detected while the baby is in the womb.

Attention
The two brain hemispheres also differ in what they pay attention to. The left side of the brain is more involved with attention to the internal world. The right side is more interested in attending to the external world.

Gender
Studies have shown no differences between males and females in terms of brain lateralization.

TAKE AWAY
● The theory that a person is either left-brained or right-brained is a myth not supported by scientific research.
● Some people may find the theory does align with their aptitudes. However, they should not rely on it as a scientifically accurate way to understand the brain or the personality.
● Brain activity is not symmetrical, and it does vary from person to person.
● There are really cool graphics to depict right- and left-brains. [Does that make me right-brained?]

JUST SAYIN’
□
Resources
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lateralization_of_brain_function
https://biomedicalodyssey.blogs.hopkinsmedicine.org/2019/05/left-vs-right-brained-why-the-brain-laterality-myth-persists/
https://brainmadesimple.com/left-and-right-hemispheres/#:~:text=The%20left%20side%20of%20the%20brain%20is%20responsible%20for%20controlling,with%20creativity%20and%20the%20arts.
https://www.healthline.com/health/left-brain-vs-right-brain
https://www.verywellmind.com/left-brain-vs-right-brain-2795005
https://www.dana.org/article/right-brain-left-brain-really/
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321037
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/left-brain-right-brain
https://www.npr.org/sections/13.7/2013/12/02/248089436/the-truth-about-the-left-brain-right-brain-relationship
https://now.northropgrumman.com/the-left-brain-right-brain-myth-is-it-true/#:~:text=The%20left%2Dbrain%20right%2Dbrain%20myth%20stems%20from%20the%20common,brained%20people%20are%20more%20creative.
https://www.skyword.com/contentstandard/how-the-left-brain-right-brain-myth-harms-marketers//
Graphics
https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-illustration-left-right-brain-concept-head-silhouette-design-human-hemispheres-information-flat-line-art-style-eps-vector-image70793222
https://www.thegreatcoursesdaily.com/putting-your-best-brain-forward-linking-brain-areas-to-creativity/
http://actionbasedlearning.3dcartstores.com/Left-Brain-Right-Brain-Poster_p_347.html
https://depositphotos.com/178554186/stock-illustration-vector-left-right-hemisphere-human.html
https://timesofmalta.com/articles/view/myth-debunked-left-brain-vs-right-brain.686120
Graphics

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THE GLASS IS ALWAYS FULL: Optimism vs. Pessimism

10/16/2020

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THE CONTROVERSY RAGES ON

●The optimist sees the glass as half full. Good, the kids are drinking more water in this heat.
●The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. Why can’t that kid of mine understand that bottled water is expensive?
●The realist wants to know what is in the glass and the circumstances before making a judgment.

If the half full/empty glass is water, you probably won’t care and will water a plant with the remainder. If it’s orange juice, you might wonder which of the kids didn’t finish breakfast and make a mental note to be sure they all get up on time.

If the glass contains expensive champagne, you’ll most likely wonder who would put expensive champagne in a water glass, drink half, and waste the rest. You also might check the glass for lipstick.

If the clear liquid in the glass is a water with a lethal dose of poison in it, that changes everything. Who put it there? How, when, and why? If it’s half full/empty, does that mean someone has already ingested half and is now dying on the bathroom floor? How can you keep anyone from drinking the remainder? How do you preserve the scene for a police investigation?

The Optimist
An optimist has a natural predisposition to approach life in a positive way. Optimists believe in and are hopeful about the future and the high possibility for success; they are hopeful and expect that everything will turn out all right. And if it there are setbacks or disasters, they tend to say, “Well, it could have been a lot worse.” The expectation of success often motivates confidence and hard work, enthusiasm, fearlessness. Things are always getting better.

The Pessimist
A pessimist has a natural predisposition to fear the worst and to have low expectations when it comes to life and particularly new experiences. Believing in the low probability of success, pessimists worry and look for the problems; they are often filled with doubts.

Pessimism can lead to a lack of confidence, including self-confidence, and a gloomy attitude about everything, but it can also fuel attention to detail, carefulness, accuracy, and preparedness. The problems never go away and things are always getting worse.

The Realist
The realist accepts the circumstances as they are and prepares to deal with them accordingly. Realists approach life with the attitude it-is-what-it-is. That doesn’t mean realists don’t strive for goals or work to make things better. Basically, a realist has the natural tendency to keep the emotion out of the way and deal with what life throws at them as effectively as possible.

The Conflict
To the optimists, the pessimist is an unpleasant person to be around because he is always seeing problems, finding fault, and being a general buzz kill.

To the pessimists, the optimists are not being realistic; they are out of touch. Pessimists believe the optimists can’t see the actual world we live in, the injustices, the cruelty, and lack of change no matter how hard anyone tries. They are in denial and are not prepared for real life in general.

No doubt neither optimists nor pessimists approve of the realist’s approach to life.

However, literature on the subject favors optimism and tends to focus on how to develop a positive attitude and overcome being a pessimist. They make the pessimist out to look like a wimpy, indecisive, and generally unpleasant person to be around because he doesn’t believe in himself. A loser. Pessimism is treated as a personality flaw.

In my opinion, that’s a little harsh. There are plenty of pessimists around who have achieved great success. As Pulitzer-prize winning political commentator George Will once put it, “The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.”

In fact, people use both halves of their brain equally, and creative and analytical thinking require both the left and right brain. Therefore, a person’s negative and positive outlooks are both part of the cognitive processes.

◄Illustration credit: Owl Turd Comix
Illustration source: huffpost.com/difference-optimists-pessimists-comic

When you think about it, optimists keep everyone motivated, pessimists keep everyone improving, and realists keep everyone balanced. Although optimists tend to be valued more than pessimists, they are all equally necessary.

PESSIMISM vs. CYNICISM
Experts contend that being a pessimist and being cynical are different, although they may express themselves in similar words and actions. While a pessimist sees the bad things in life as more prevalent than good things, someone who is cynical does not believe people can be trusted.

A fine line, to be sure, but cynicism is directed more toward human nature rather than toward mother nature and life in general. This is how differencebetween.net describes the distinction:

“● Pessimism is the belief that there are more bad things in life than there is good while cynicism is the belief that people should not be trusted. ▲ Image Source: funnyjunk.com/optimist/

● Pessimism views the world as getting worse as the years pass while cynicism views people with distrust and scorn for their motives.

● Although they are similar terms, pessimism has more negative effects on a person’s mental and emotional well-being than cynicism which has a lower degree of negativity than pessimism.

● The word “pessimism” was first used in the 1700s while “cynicism” was first used in the 1500s.

● The word “pessimism” came from the Latin word “pessimus” which means “worst” while the word “cynicism” came from the Latin word “cynicus” and the Greek word “kynikos.”

BALANCE
Scientists who have studied this topic tend to believe that human survival and wellness requires a balance between optimism and pessimism.

According to David Hecht [ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/], “Undue pessimism makes life miserable; however, excessive optimism can lead to dangerously risky behaviors.” Further, he suggests that optimism and pessimism are differentially associated with the two cerebral hemispheres.

Without getting into a side discussion about right and left brains, l’ll just say that studies suggest that both optimism and pessimism have important roles to play in our existence, and they are simply two different but effective tactics to cope with what life throws at us. The realist part of us helps keep them in balance.

WHY DOES SOCIETY VALUE OPTIMISIM?
In 2018, the “Life Is Good” Optimism and Positivity Survey found that eighty- five percent of Americans consider themselves optimistic. That is close to the findings of other such studies, all of which were conducted before the 2020 COVID 19 pandemic.

● More of the general population are optimistic by nature and probably expect others to think the same way.
● Positive people are more pleasant to be around for extended periods of time.
● Studies suggest that optimists have better general health, improved immunological functioning, and less heart disease.
● A natural tendency to see problems instead of solutions can be exhausting, not only for the pessimist but everyone around.

But is an optimistic outlook better than a pessimistic one? Optimism seems to make people feel better about life because they believe the future will improve everything. The major advantage of a pessimism outlook is that it helps people cope with the real world more easily and to be more prepared things if they don’t get better. I think the quote from George Will summed it up nicely.

Realism is a state of general attitude perceived as being in the middle between of the two extremes with a moderate does of optimism.

COPING MECHANISMS / MANAGING STRESS
Both optimism and pessimism are methods for coping with life.
Being optimistic allows people to pursue their goals in a positive way: to dream a bigger and better dream, which they can work their way towards. Optimists also seem to respond better to positive feedback, and part of being optimistic may be generating this feedback for themselves, i.e. thinking positive thoughts.
On the other hand being pessimistic may help people reduce their natural anxiety and to perform better. Also, pessimists seem to respond better to negative feedback. They like to hear what the problems were, so they can correct them. Again, part of why pessimists generate these sorts of negative thoughts is that it helps them perform better.

Coping can be conceptualized as a mediator of the effects of optimism and pessimism on distress levels in stressful situations.

TAKE AWAY
My take away from all this is that people use both optimism and pessimism in relation to the specific situation in a manner that helps them cope most easily. There may be situations where optimism is the best response, others where pessimism is most useful.

When Margaret Hamilton was writing programs for the Apollo’s command module, someone “crashed” the simulator by accidently activating a prelaunch program while the simulator was in flight. As a result, Hamilton wanted to add error-checking code to prevent a crash under these circumstances in space, but was overruled by her NASA superiors.

This was not something that could happen in space because, Hamilton was told, “Astronauts do not make mistakes.”

Wearing her pessimist hat, Hamilton was not buying that and found a way to avert the problem. Her job was to find everything possible that could go wrong so it could be prevented in the programming, provide a warning to the astronauts, or ways to correct the problem. I’m not sure if her superiors were just optimists or arrogant male optimists, but the event does not make Hamilton a pessimist by nature.

I believe the best combination is a realist with enough pessimism to anticipate problems and be prepared, and a slight overdoes of optimism to see a brighter future.

I also agree with the scientist who points out that the “glass is always full” – half with water and half with air.
□
Resources
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/difference-optimists-pessimists-comic_n_57e550f0e4b0e80b1ba19ef4#:~:text=Optimists%20generally%20approach%20life%20with,to%20prepare%20for%20negative%20outcomes.
https://psychcentral.com/blog/pessimism-vs-optimism/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/collections/201108/optimism-vs-pessimism
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-neurochemical-self/201107/pessimists-stay-away-me?collection=69594
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201011/the-trouble-optimism?collection=69594
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-neurochemical-self/201107/pessimists-stay-away-me?collection=69594
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-saving-philosophy/201107/choosing-the-glass-half-full?collection=69594
https://vancruzer.com/pessimists-vs-optimists/
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/01/learning/are-you-an-optimist-or-a-pessimist.html
https://ourworldindata.org/optimism-pessimism
https://liberationist.org/the-bright-and-dark-sides-of-optimism-and-pessimism/
https://stephencswan.wordpress.com/2014/05/23/optimist-or-pessimist-realist-or-something-else/
https://4enlightenment.com/2019/01/28/optimistic-vs-pessimistic/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3807005/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2600560/
http://www.differencebetween.net/miscellaneous/politics/ideology-politics/difference-between-pessimism-and-cynicism/
https://exploringyourmind.com/the-value-of-being-optimistic/
https://scienceinpoland.pap.pl/en/news/news%2C31632%2Cpsychologiptist-propensity-omism-more-frequent-pessimistic-tendencies.html#:~:text=Propensity%20for%20optimism%20is%20generally,that%20optimism%20can%20be%20trained.
https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/comprehensive-study-shows-americans-remain-optimistic-in-troubled-times-300711817.html
https://www.webmd.com/balance/news/20110916/optimism-partly-in-your-genes#1
https://smallville.com.au/see-glass-half-full-empty/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201908/optimism-study-gives-optimists-more-reason-be-optimistic

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TOO STUPID TO LIVE: Qualities of a Good Romance Novel Heroine

10/9/2020

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I have been totally “out of the writing zone” for months, and I’m trying to find a way to motivate myself. Not that I haven’t been writing – you’re getting a blog every week, and those take a great deal of time, energy, research and writing. Great excuse for not working on my books, but not fiction.

Long story short, I’m writing about the qualities needed in a good fictional heroine – in the hopes that I will be working on another one someday.

THINGS THAT GO WITHOUT SAYING, THAT NEED TO BE SAID
These are the no-brainers, the basics that writers already know but sometimes forget. In terms of her role in the novel, the protagonist/heroine should be:

● A protagonist the reader can connect with.
● Likeable or intriguing enough to captures the reader’s attention and hook her.
● Her own person, with her own identity and trajectory, her own ambitions and goals, outside of her relationships with other people.
● Able to discover her strengths and weaknesses and to change over the course of the story.
● The character that others characters in the novel exist to support. She takes the actions and advances the plot. It is her story.
● Capable of standing up to the antagonist and is made stronger because of that interaction.
● Not defined by status or looks.

In my opinion, all good and strong heroines fulfill this role within the novel. I don’t believe this is the same as the personal qualities of the female protagonist which can vary quite a bit to fulfill the needs of the plot.

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS
First of all, if you are writing romance, you have to like your protagonist. Otherwise, why are you telling her story? I can see how there could be occasions when, writing outside the romance genre, liking the heroine may not apply, such as biographies or other non-fiction, but even in those cases, I believe the author has to be intrigued by the person or situation, or have some compelling reason to tell her story.

WHO IS YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE?
Second, if you are writing fiction to sell, you need to be aware of your target audience… the people most likely to read what you are writing. Your antagonists need to appeal to and connect with those readers. There is no getting around that. You want readers to buy your books.
I’m not advocating anyone write specifically to please an audience, but be aware of their general demographics, interests, and beliefs as you write.

Even if you are just writing for fun or as a hobby, it never hurts to keep in mind who might read your work. Ultimately, the work, the story line, and the characters are yours. You can do what you want, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

WHAT ARE YOUR READERS LIKE?
Most, although not all, romance readers are women. That’s a starting point, but all women aren’t clumped into one category nor do they like the same things, but they all live in the 21st century.

Romance Editor Leslie Wainger writes that “the heroine is the reader’s alter ego — the reader’s avenue into the story — your heroine directly controls everything the reader feels, and whether or not she keeps reading. To get your reader involved in the novel, convince her that your heroine’s not only someone she would like to know, but is also someone she would like to be.”

Regardless of the time and place of the novel, or the character of the heroine, an author needs to think about the challenges women are facing in real life today in order to engage women of this century. What kind of heroine would they like to be?

Like everything else about writing and other creative endeavors, there is no formula and there is no right or wrong [although there are plenty of people who will tell you there is].

If it works, it works. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

Unfortunately, defining “IT” is impossible. Whatever writing skill you are trying to improve or perfect, if you write and read for a long enough period of time and listen to experts, eventually the skill comes to you instinctively. You won’t have to think about doing this or remembering that when you are writing. Beginners usually do need to think about it as they write and edit for it.

I agree with author Stacy Tucker who writes, “Today’s female reader is pressed for time, demanding as hell, and both scared and excited about the future. If you want to craft a dynamic literary heroine, you must speak to that.” writersdigest.com/write-better-fiction/defining-todays-literary-heroine

The world has changed and it continues to change more and more rapidly. Older people tend to hang on to their ways – I can say that because I am an older people -- but youngsters growing up today are using computers at fifteen months. And writers older than 30 today can’t write about what they know because a lot is already passé and younger people aren’t interested.

Although in 2020 sex discrimination is alive and well, women can still do just about any job they want. Women can be found everywhere in both traditional and non-traditional roles… non-traditional for least last year, anyway. Next year, maybe the job isn’t non-traditional any more.

We need heroines equipped to navigate effectively in today’s changing world, where women can be what they want, but still have to fight for it. That’s a real challenge as well as a literary one. Whether you are writing contemporary, historical, Sci Fi, or Fantasy, your characters have to appeal to readers living in the 21st century. To do that, writers must arm your heroines with the tools to appeal to today’s readers.

QUALITIES OF A GOOD ROMANCE HEROINE
There is a plethora of good advice from well known authors, and as I said, there is no one way and no right or wrong answer. However, many of the same qualities come up in every list, sometimes using slightly different words. The qualities of a good romance heroine include:

◄ She has a clear story goal with high stakes that defines the narrative arc.
Her story goal is understandable, the stakes are high, and the goal defines the narrative arc. She has to get possession of something or relief from something, and there have to be important consequences if she doesn’t succeed.

◄ She has her own opinions.
A strong female lead will listen to her own instincts and make her own decisions based on her own value system. She’ll make mistakes, but she’ll always try to learn from them.

◄ She has flaws
Strong female characters have struggles and flaws just like everyone else, but what makes them strong is how they deal with their shortcomings. Her flaws are the source of the bad decisions she makes, although she may not think of them as bad decisions… at the time. Remember, bad decisions make for good reading. Perfect isn’t believable.

◄ She’s a tough cookie in her own right
Tough could mean a character’s ability to physically bring down foes, but it can also be her ability to think fast under pressure or negotiate with powerful figures. To be tough in whatever way, she is resilient, determined, and relentless.

◄ Strong
She has to be strong emotionally and mentally, but that doesn’t make her think or act like a man. We’re talking about strength of character, strong opinions, resilience, purpose, confidence, wit, and mental fortitude. She will stand up for herself, and her actions match her core beliefs.

◄ Complex Emotions and depth
Our heroine needs to have a believable and complex range of emotions. Vulnerability is important in all characters, because people always have them. Why people react the way they do is complicated and often surprising and unpredictable, at least under certain circumstances.
Circumstances create these reactions.

◄ Cares about the consequences of her actions
The heroine can just be a caring person by nature or through experience, but she could also be a heroine who believes she doesn’t care and learns that she does as the story unfolds. Not caring could be her weakness. Ultimately, she has to embrace the concept, at least in a romance novel.
Sometimes in the heat of the moment people may feel the consequences are far less important than the need to act on something. Swift action without thinking can do a world of damage and usually end in regret.

Some of the heroine qualities also listed by multiple authors include the following:
● Confidence
● Will power
● Courage
● Independent
● Determination
● Persistence
● Passionate about love and life
● Faith

I agreed with the list the first time I read it. Then I had second thoughts. First, what about other good qualities such as honesty, faithfulness, reliability, and so on. There are many other such qualities that are not cited by authors. Second, I doubt that one person possess all of the qualities just on the list.

My take-away is this: Give your heroine the qualities she needs for the story line and let her fulfill her responsibilities to the novel as the protagonist. She’ll be great.

HOW YOU KNOW WHEN A HEROINE IS TSTL?
Author Author Janice Hardy claims that the term Too Stupid To Live “is an actual literary term (no, really). It's a common trope that describes characters who act in ways no sane or reasonable person would act in the face of danger.” blog.janicehardy.com/2014/characters-too-stupid-to-live

I don’t know that for a fact, but I’ll take her word for it. The figure of speech is certainly commonplace, and there are plenty of fictional characters that fit the rather harsh description which is given in The Urban Dictionary as “…a mental and social disorder where by an individual is deemed to be an unproductive member of society because s/he lacks the mental aptitude, social skills and general zest necessary to do so.” urbandictionary.com/define.php?term

Hardy lists in her article, noted above, some questions to ask about a character in a novel to determine whether or not the fictional person is TSTL.

“How do you know if your character is too stupid to live?

Do they ever think, "Gee, that would be a really dumb thing to do" (in some fashion) and then do it anyway without very good reason?
Do they ever tell someone who can--and likely will--hurt them that they plan to betray or expose them?
Do they ever ignore the obvious signs of danger or take zero precautions against those dangers?
Do they ever act in ways that no sane person would ever act?
Do they make the foolishly wrong choice every single time?
Are they oblivious to life-threatening situations?
Do they make the same dumb mistakes multiple times?
Do they ignore people who tell them not to trust them or who have done bad things to them in the past?
Do they frequently act in ways contrary to their own best interests?
Do they often attack (or confront) in no-win situations?
Do they have zero survival instincts?

If any of these fit your character (especially if more than a few do) then that character might be too stupid to live.” blog.janicehardy.com/2014/characters-too-stupid-to-live, “Are Your Characters Too Stupid To Live?” by Janice Hardy

EXAMPLES WOULD BE HELPFUL BUT…
Sorry. Professional writers don’t publish craft articles naming authors or books with characters they believe are too stupid to live. They may have examples but it’s not professional or kind to do that sort of thing. Every writer knows how much hard work, time, effort, and self goes into writing a book, even a bad one. According to mastersclass.com, some examples of strong heroines include:
https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-write-strong-female-characters#quiz-0

● “Buffy Summers
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a powerful heroine with awesome fighting skills who can be both tough—even when chasing a love interest—and empathetic—even towards those who have wronged her. She is a three-dimensional character, and she always tries to do the right thing.”
●Ellen Ripley
“Sigourney Weaver as alien-fighting heroine Ellen Ripley in the film Alien. Ellen Ripley is straightforward, physically strong, and a smart main character—but she also has strong maternal instincts that sometimes drive her decisions.”
● Katniss Everdeen
“In Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games, Katniss is a young woman living in a dystopian world, who volunteers her own life in order to protect her younger sister. While sometimes impulsive and susceptible to the manipulations of others, Katniss grows throughout her story arc, becoming a skilled warrior who makes sacrifices to keep the ones she loves from harm.”
● Hermione Granger
“In J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, Hermione Granger is a strong female character not just because of her talented wizarding abilities but because of her fearless opinions and her ability to use intelligence to solve problems.”

CAN THIS CHARACTER BE SAVED?
If you have to answer yes to any of Hardy’s questions regarding your heroine, you need to do some work on her character. Most of the time, salvaging the character and the novel can be relatively easy, but also tedious.

● Find all the places where these weaknesses appear.
● Revise the scene with the heroine doing something smart or taking a more reasonable action. See how it reads. Or have the heroine think about doing something stupid and catch herself before she makes the mistake.
● If you don’t want to change the action, give the character a strong reason for doing it and make it a no-option situation. Sometimes a person can get away with doing a dumb thing for the right reasons. It all depends on circumstances, but those must work within the plot.

If the whole novel is full of “yes’s” to Hardy’s questions, you may need to rethink the manuscript.

JUST SAYIN’
□
Sources:
https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-write-strong-female-characters#quiz-0
http://blog.janicehardy.com/2014/04/are-your-characters-too-stupid-to-live.html
https://authorkristenlamb.com/2019/05/flawed-characters-great-fiction/
https://ezinearticles.com/?Writing-Romance-101---Avoiding-The-Too-Stupid-To-Live-(TSTL)-Heroine&id=1132304
https://www.blueridgeconference.com/characteristics-determine-heroine/
https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-fiction/defining-todays-literary-heroine
https://www.writerswrite.co.za/the-six-defining-characteristics-of-strong-female-protagonists/
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Too%20Stupid%20To%20Live
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/288403336_Why_do_we_care_about_literary_characters
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201205/adolescent-apathy-and-what-loss-caring-can-mean

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